Wednesday 13 December 2023

WFRP Campaign notes, part 1

We have begun playing Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, for my first time. Montmorency 'Doily' Butterbean is a well-cushioned halfling chef in the employ of Annetta von Loningheim, a merchant whose well-to-do family is rather less well these days and in need of new markets, stat. He is 3'2" tall, and excels in Trade (Cook) and Sleight of Hand. This being Warhammer, that means he has exactly a 50% chance of succeeding at either. As a servant, he isn't mechanically allowed to learn fighting, and he's also as burly as a particularly malnourished dishrag, so hopefully this campaign in the notoriously peaceful setting of, er, The Old World, will revolve around square meals and petty theft.

Session the First

It’s Jahrdrung, and through some curious benediction of Sigmar, it’s not raining. We converge on the nearest coaching inn for our various reasons. M’lady Annetta von Loningheim is en route to Altdorf on the family’s behalf, so, so is my humble self. Our travelling-companions include a stern gentleman calling himself Barnabus Sommerfeld, Karl the docker, and a rough-looking guard called Werther. We're still in plenty of time to catch the Four Seasons line carriage heading for Altdorf.

The aforesaid coach accelerates out of the gate as we approach, much to our discomfort. It pays no heed to our pleas and indeed, the chap on top waves his blunderbuss at Werther to get him out of the path. We’re peeved. Distinctly peeved.

Inside the fence, there’s a sign for Ratchet Lines the coach company. The porter says the coach is trying to make up time after breaking a wheel earlier in the day. They’re aiming for Middenheim but won’t get there any time soon, least of all by night. There’s coachmen inside having a drink and a bite to eat - employees of the Ratchet Line, a rival firm. A finely-dressed young woman with a beefy female bodyguard and a possible governess. A young scholar of some kind. A fancy chap at the bar, with an evaluating eye. There’s a landlord with a pet crow, Gustav.

Werther manages to haggle the coachmen into getting a cheap journey on the next morning's coach. They're stubborn folk, largely because they have devised a nigh-flawless system of converting coach tickets into money and the latter seamlessly into ale. One ticket, as they point out, is therefore worth eight flagons of ale. Mistress easily convinces the landlord to give her a good deal on the rooms, and after Doily pointed out the distinct lack of a chef, he was happy enough (or wise enough) to let the halfling take over the kitchen. Much clattering of pots and pans ensues, mostly of Karl helping wash up.

The fancy chap wanders over and makes small talk, before producing a deck of cards with which he is noticeably clumsy. Surely, an innocent fellow merely in search of entertainment. Alas, none of us are at the juxtaposition of willingness to play and possessed of any coin, while the stranger can’t foresee any pleasure in a game without stakes. ‘Tis like that parable with the comb, the pocket watch, and the priest of Sigmar’s trousers.

Narrowly avoiding setting the place ablaze, Doily rustles up a decent meal. In the course of feeding it to the tipsy coachmen, he convinces them that they forgot to give him his ticket. Twice. Awfully careless of ‘em, good thing he was around to jog their memories. He keeps them supplied with hearty food and encourages the landlord to keep their beers coming. Everyone knows you drive better with a hangover.

By the end of the evening, Barnabus has pointed out the importance of a blessing for a safe coach journey and that they don’t seem to have the right number of tickets vs. schillings, while Doily has paid an honest two schillings for his, er, three tickets, and rustled up a damn fine breakfast (and some snacks to keep them going on the way). His capacious pockets are not full of ill-gotten turnips, and no you may not look inside them. The very idea!

The journey is uneventful, and damp. It’s dark by the time we get to our intended inn - which proves to be tied to the Four Seasons, so as Ratchet Line travellers, we can’t go there! We reluctantly continue further on, and round a bend to find a humanoid figure crouched over a limp body. It turns round, revealing – oh horror! - a human hand within its mouth!

The figure rushes towards us, green gunk dripping from its eyes. Karl gives a cry of horrified recognition – “Rolph!” as it charges. The horses panic and bolt, but Gunnar slams the brakes down – the reins snap and the beasts flee, Holtz still hanging on for dear life.

Everyone leaps to the coach’s defence, although in Doily’s case it involves flinging hat-boxes (belonging to the other lady, who will be miffed – Sigmar forbid he thrown her Ladyship’s property around!). This is a less than effective method of combat, but it does have the enormous advantage of keeping him at the greatest possible distance from the cannibal. Our would-be witch-hunter finishes it off, skewering the accursed thing with his sword.

Session the Second

Werther and Barnabus immediately rush after the horses. They hears something crashing through the undergrowth and a bestial cry. A figure bursts out and calls “it’s me! don’t shoot!”. It’s Holtz, somewhat the worse for wear. There’s another coach around the corner, on its side. It's the Four Seasons line, perhaps the very one that barged past us last night! Two horses are trying to break free. Something with huge muscles is swiping at them with an axe. There are bodies everywhere. The scream comes from the dog-headed, wounded man next to the carriage; another mutant is trying to bandage it. A fourth else is rummaging through bodies, and a fifth taking a quick ‘snack’ on one of those selfsame bodies.

After a hurried (well, somewhat hurried. Hurried in a leisurely sort of fashion, one might say) discussion, some of us start sneaking towards them while Karl acts as a distraction. Werther is not terribly stealthy, however – or perhaps rather better said, is terribly stealthy – and draws their attention.

Sneaking up to the “medic”, Doily flings a rock – which misses dramatically, bounces off the carriage wheel, and catches him in the eye as he turns to look at it. Already injured, it’s too much for him and he keels over. Meanwhile, Werther fells the largest of them – a hulk of a man with a tiny head – with a single flawless swing of his warhammer, caving in its arm and sternum. He fixes the other with a ferocious glare, and it pegs it in the opposite direction. The leader tries to aim a crossbow at Barnabus, shakes so badly that the bolt falls out, and also flees.

Much circumspection is employed in approaching the carriage, lest something ‘orrible, or some jittery crossbow-wielding survivor, be crouching there. It proves unnecessary. Inside the carriage are two bodies, one of whom looks a lot like Barnabus, though in less witch-huntery-y clothes. Both are dead. The other bodies nearby seem to be assorted artisans and a coachman, and all are equally dead – and, perhaps worse, apparently pre-plundered by the leader who has already fled the scene, the miserable thieving scoundrel.

After calming down the horses, we look around and spot our own grazing nearby. Our coachmen are able to coax them back, and use them to bring our coach up to this one. A few other passengers reluctantly disembark to help us right the fallen coach (well, I say “us”). The chap inside is a spitting image of our Barnabus and has a rather bloodstained parchment - a letter from a lawyer, stating he’s the last heir to an enormous fortune. Poor bloke, eh? There is much debate between our small group as to what should be done, which ends with Barnabus nobly agreeing to take care of the lawyer's letter, a couple of sworn affidavits, and other important legal papers that one wouldn't want to see getting misplaced or accidentally interred along with all these corpses.

Hooves thunder and a patrol of road wardens arrive. They ask a few questions but are convinced by the evidence of the dead beastmen. They escort us to the next inn, where there’s gossip about a minor nobleman being condemned for witchcraft, having repeatedly been heard exhorting his mischievous cat to “drink his bloody milk in Hell’s name”. What a terrible waste of good milk.

At last, we see the spires of Altdorf arising in the distance. It’s huge! The vast Wolf Gate is being maintained, but still magnificent beneath all the scaffolding. We feel a sense of relief at safely arriving at last.

Tuesday 17 October 2023

Necropolitans: the Lost Tapes!

So with one thing and another, I was checking some details of the early campaign timeline and wanted to check which episode something appeared in.

Answer: it didn't!

I spent ages going back and forth trying to work out if we'd just done the prewritten island section wildly out of order. Nope. One episode finishes, the next opens with the PCs midway through exploring a ruined temple. Now, this was definitely wrong.

So I've dug deep into my old backups, and found some stray VRF files from back when we were still using Ventrilo to record. The dates didn't match any of the existing episodes either, but sat between them. Now I just had to open them and check the contents.

VRF files though.

Nothing opens VRF files. Audacity will import them - as a hideous, howling, screeching blare. So I reinstalled Ventrilo, pulled a couple of files in and exported them. Long, silent .wavs ensued. Large .wavs, mind you - deliciously datalicious .wavs. But silent nonetheless.

After quite a long time faffing about, I installed the 32-bit version of Vent through Wine on my Linux Thinkpad, moved the VRFs across, and was able to extract them to something usable.

So it turns out there are three sessions that just went missing, and I'm going to need to edit them and reorder all the existing episodes from 14 onwards. Fun times. Also, these are back in the Dark Times of single-track recording (why, Vent, why, everyone is already sending info on a different channel T_T) and Ollie being some kind of audio vampire who doesn't show up in recordings. I have the greatest respect for anyone not involved who accepts these tribulations and nevertheless wades through.

So, new episodes will take longer than planned, and I'm afraid the existing RSS feed might get messed up when I rerelease the renumbered ones. My apologies.

Tuesday 10 October 2023

New supplement: Pathfinder Phantoms

I released a new thing!

Inglenook's Know Your Phantoms has a bunch of archetypes for phantoms, which as far as I know(?) haven't been done before. Certainly the're nothing official. It's also got the usual scattering of feats, traits, spells, etc. Let's share the blurb:

Thursday 5 October 2023

Hunter Focus Alternatives

The hunter class is distinguished by its ability to assume animal aspects through the animal focus ability. Several archetypes offer alternative aspects, but some of these are difficult to reconcile with the theme of the archetype. Additionally, the archetype aspects are sometimes highly situational compared to the aspects available to the core class, making the archetype less appealing. It's not surprising; after all, you tend to start with the obvious and generic abilities, then go for increasingly niche choices as you try to add more options. It's a "difficult second album" situation. This is an attempt to address that by offering an alternative set of aspects for hunter archetypes.

Monday 11 September 2023

Sunday 10 September 2023

Necropolitans, episode 39: I am going through a midlife crisis; I cannot fight a Hound of Tindalos

Roleplaying illuminates the human experience, echoing the real-life situations we encounter or the unfamiliar lives of other people, and allowing us to explore and play with them safely, and I think it's fair to say everyone will find something deeply relatable in Episode 039: I am going through a midlife crisis; I cannot fight a Hound of Tindalos.

GURPS Ranges

For various reasons, I've been messing about with GURPS abilities, and finding the multiple, incompatible types of range a bit of a pain. There's standard ranges, spell ranges, scrying ranges, scanning sense ranges, melee ranges, hard-cutoff ranges, and of course, Warp. They all work differently, too. Sometimes - especially for linked abilities, or alternate abilities - you want to make things with one type of range work like another. So let's give that a try.

Let's say we want to reduce our range to 10 - the same as Telekinesis and a convenient range for other fixed-range modifications. For a generic ability, range is 100 and 1/2D is 10. We need these to be the same. Reduced Range (p. B115) bans us from reducing Max independently for some reason, while Increased Range is happy to let us increase 1/2D alone at half cost. This will cost us +15%. We also reduce range overall to 10 yards, for -30%. Thus, switching from a standard range to a flat 10-yard range is a net +0%.

If we ignore the "no reducing Max" rule, we could simply reduce Max at half cost, for an overall -15% modifier. So it works out the same. Nice.

What about Maledictions and spells, the other common pattern? These have no maximum range, but a -1 penalty per yard. For this, we can add Long-Range (+50%) to switch it to using the standard range modifiers. This gives a net +35% for switching to a 10-yard range.

Those spells that use the Long-Range Modifiers instead get Short-Range, which at -10% will give us a net -25%.

....okay, so what about Warp? Warp has its own unique range table, because of course it does! On closer inspection, the first few steps of each table are wildly different, but they end up virtually the same.

  • Long-Range Modifiers begin at 200 yards, then go 1/2 mile (880 yards), 1 mile, 3 miles, 10 miles, 30 miles, 100 miles, 300 miles, 1000 miles, and then in multiples of 10.
  • Warp goes 10, 20, 100, 500, then 2 miles, 10 miles, and then im multiples of 10.

We hit 1,000 miles at -7 for the Warp table, and -8 for the Long-Range table. After that it's plain sailing. So... Warp has a steeper initial curve, but flattens out sooner than Long-Range. It's more challenging at short ranges, but less challenging at long ranges. Honestly, I'm inclined to say these are functionally equal. In theory allowing someone to switch to the Warp ranges would make very long-range activity slightly easier. Realistically speaking, though, I'd be far more worried about better accuracy for short-to-mid-range abilities, especially attacks - which would be a case of switching from the Warp table to the Long-Range table. Since no attack abilities use the Warp modifiers, that's not a concern. The fact that someone could switch to be better at (say) scrying on someone from 10,000 miles away, at the cost of being much worse at doing so from any lesser distance, doesn't seem like a huge deal to me.

The only real issue I can see is that allowing Warp to switch to Long-Range modifiers would open the door to adding Long-Range 1 (from Power-Ups 4: Enhancements) and removing the range penalties altogether. Is that really a problem, though? It'll cost you +50%, which is generally 50 points. For the same price, you could buy a +10 to your rolls, or +5 and No Strain to avoid the risk of critical failures. We could also simply forbid the use of Long-Range on Warp, if we're that worried.

But there's an easier way to deal with our actual challenge here, which is the range limits. Range Limit lets us cap our Warp. It's -50% for a 10-yard range. Perfect.

So, we conclude that you can make a standard Innate Attack or Affliction into a 10-yard effect at -15%, a Malediction or spell for -+35%, and a Long-Range ability for -25%, while Warp gets -50%.

If we want a fixed radius with no range penalties, we can add Reliable 4 (Only to cancel range penalties, -50%) for +10%.

If we'd like to use something like the Psionic Range Table (GURPS Psionic Powers, p. 22) we can adjust the multipliers.

Friday 25 August 2023

Necropolitans, episode 38: Well, that was unexpected

The job of the GM is to cunningly predict the players' every move, weaving a seamless web of continuity that will accommodate their whims. This is, of course, impossible, but sometimes more impossible than others. In Episode 038: Well, that was unexpected, Ollie managed to do something I absolutely had not even remotely anticipated.

Wednesday 16 August 2023

Dangers of the Road

The random encounter has been a Thing in RPGs since at least the early days of D&D. Sometimes this makes more sense than others. Having your night's kip deep in the bowels of an abandoned cathedral crypt disturbed by prowling ghouls makes a fair amount of sense. Running into a manticore as you take the rough cart track from a farming village to the market town, not so much.

Like most parts of gaming, this is fine in moderation and in the hands of a judicious GM who thinks about the context. But that's not a very exciting statement, so let's have a further look at random encounters.

Saturday 22 July 2023

Necropolitans, episode 37: Pop that on a pedestal, socially, and let you look at it

A tradition is born, as Jaal begins Performing The Ritual, in Episode 037: Pop That on a Pedestal, Socially. He will continue to do so, at every inadvisable opportunity, despite the best efforts of everyone. One day, perhaps it will be the correct choice.

Writing List for Self-Motivation

Every so often, I promise/threaten/vaguely imply that I'll write something and then it sort of drifts away into The Heap. This list is an attempt to get in control of that by maintaining a) any list at all, and b) something vaguely public that people can thwack me with.

If I said I'd write something and have failed to follow through, do comment below.

Saturday 15 July 2023

Wall Smashing Heroes

A staple of certain cinematic action films, particularly the superheroic type, is the environmental demolition attack. Rather than simply smacking someone round the face, you hurl them bodily into some major piece of infrastructure. What makes this distinct from grittier action is that our super-tough characters don't just crash painfully into the wall - they smash through it. In extreme examples of this trope, caped weirdos fling one another through half a dozen office blocks, leaving the victim briefly discombobulated and the buildings in a state of collapse.

In this clip, for example, Hellboy is smashed into the ground (and later through an assortment of historic artefacts and their displays, a window, and a dumpster) by Samael. Hellboy, being supernaturally durable, is lightly inconvenienced by the experience. The smashees, however, are absolutely wrecked.

I don't claim to be an expert in physics, but I don't think that's how it works. But if it did, how would we do it in a game?

Sunday 18 June 2023

Article in The Path of Cunning

The latest issue of sporadic GURPS fanzine The Path of Cunning is out, and I'm in it! My article looks at libraries, and how to model them in GURPS - which makes it sound more complicated than it is.

Wednesday 14 June 2023

Necropolitans, episode 35: My god, he has business cards!

Juggling lighting effects on virtual tabletop becomes confusing and, ironically, obfuscates everything. We learn that all creatures of the Earth subtype are stoners, and those of the Water subtype extremely wet, in My god, he has business cards!

Saturday 10 June 2023

Necropolitans, episode 34: Did we spend all of last session literally trying to cross this room?

We unexpectedly introduce Nathan to the Paddington universe, and interrogate very sleepy statues in Did we spend all of last session literally trying to cross this room? "Your accent wanders further than any accent has wandered before". We discover some spiders are also witches (bad).

Friday 12 May 2023

Playtesting Invisible Fires

With the Whartson Hall crew, I'm running through a full playtest of my new modern weird mystery, Invisible Fires. So far things are going pretty well; they haven't run into any major roadblocks or immediately solved the mystery. Better yet, even the players who were leery of an investigation-heavy scenario with little action have been enthusiastic, which is high praise indeed.

You can catch up on their progress - as well as the previous adventure, The Wolf Who Cried Boy - over at Tekeli.li if you don't mind spoilers for something I intend to publish this year.

Tuesday 18 April 2023

Podcast: the Redacted Reports

One of the various podcasts I've been listening to recently is The Redacted Reports.

TRR is a Delta Green podcast, so we're talking an X-files vibe but more conspiratorial. Members of various branches of the US government - in this case including the military, FBI, and the EPA - are secretly recruited for an off-the-books task force investigating deeply weird things.

Disclaimer: I have mixed feelings about Delta Green as a game. In fairness, I haven't played it! I've listened to quite a lot of actual play, including the good folks over at Roleplaying Public Radio (RPPR) and some others I'll write about soon. Personally, some aspects don't work for me; they're drawing on specific genre points that I don't particularly enjoy, so this is just a case of Your Milage May Vary.

1. The game has a model where the strain of dealing with weirdness and violence slowly shreds your human connections, destroying bonds to the people in your life and isolating you; perhaps realistic, but I find it depressing, and I play games to be less depressed.

2. DG leans heavily into the American style of government, which is to say, all the law enforcement characters (and a bunch of others) are armed and prepared to kill. Characters tend to be military, ex-military-, FBI and police. The game as a whole, and many APs, tend to assume that armed violence is both expected and a necessary, effective approach to dealing with the weird conspiracies they're facing. Killing civilians and witnesses is a regrettable necessily - it may grind down the characters' sanity, but it's a grim necessity and morally justifiable, not an abhorrent absolute last resort.

But those are about the game and setting as a whole, and every group runs things differently! I do enjoy listening to DG games for the most part, even the scenarios I wouldn't want to run.

Worth noting: this is a Cthulhu, Delta Green podcast, so it does involve violence, death, and bad things happening to people. It isn't the kind of podcast that relishes the grisly details, but they do come up. In particular, the Shrimp Farm arc has a very violent climax, while Idaho deals with sex, violence, and (in a minor way) self-harm. One PC is a survivor of cult abduction, and another has war-related trauma. Abduction comes up in at least two other cases. I'm not getting into any details here, but thought I should flag it up for anyone considering trying the podcast. My feeling is that they handle these subjects well and with consideration.

Saturday 25 February 2023

Necropolitans, Episode 31: Doing full frilled lizard

"It's always great when things melt out of the floor." We learn why you shouldn't put the magical equivalent of a nuclear generator in front of the PCs in Episode 031: Doing full frilled lizard.

Friday 20 January 2023

Thursday 22 December 2022

Mo Little Art

A friend of mine has set up a website selling charming cards and illustrations, and I thought I'd give her a shout out: Mo Little Art. Well worth going to check out the cute animals and striking colours even if you're not up for buying anything. Frog Soup is my current favourite.

Thursday 8 December 2022

Necropolitans, episode 28: Two of you are stealthing, and one of you is hitting things with a stick

The perils of negative marking (see here, or here, or ) are revealed to the stealthless Necropolitans in Episode 028: Two of you are stealthing, and one of you is hitting things with a stick

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead
  8. Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture
  9. Episode 025: Trust me, I'm a necromancer
  10. Episode 026: Venn Venn domeagram
  11. Episode 027: That's not how it works
  12. Episode 028: Two of you are stealthing, and one of you is hitting things with a stick

Thursday 1 December 2022

Necropolitans, episode 27: That's not how it works

Secrets of a long-vanished species are revealed as the Necropolitans explore the Nameless City in Episode 027: That's not how it works

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead
  8. Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture
  9. Episode 025: Trust me, I'm a necromancer
  10. Episode 026: Venn Venn domeagram
  11. Episode 027: That's not how it works

Tuesday 29 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 26: Venn Venn domeagram

The Necropolitans explore the ruins of a long-dead city (totally original ahem do not steal) in Episode 026: Venn Venn domeagram. Alternative title: Ringing in his Spiritual Ears.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead
  8. Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture
  9. Episode 025: Trust me, I'm a necromancer
  10. Episode 026: Venn Venn domeagram

Monday 28 November 2022

The Vampire Next Door

"A game for bold and meddling kids".

I picked up a copy of Cat Elm's The Vampire Next Door ages ago, but only recently had the opportunity to actually run it. I've now run it twice - once for an actual one-shot (about 2 hours), and once for a two-part game that ran to roughly 3 hours.

I don't have a bad word to say about it.

Sunday 27 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 25: Trust me, I'm a necromancer

Something happens in this episode. Who knows? Not me; I've forgotten, because it was three years ago! But why not find out together, in Episode 025: Trust me, I'm a necromancer.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead
  8. Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture
  9. Episode 025: Trust me, I'm a necromancer

Saturday 26 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 24: Only I could have a sassy vulture

Lagging behind the party (because, let's be clear, they are bickering like an old married couple), Makoa finds his skeletal form under the keen scrutiny of a scavenger. Will he come to regret his decision? Find out in Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead
  8. Episode 024: Only I could have a sassy vulture

Friday 25 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 23: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead

Tact is important when meeting new people from unfamiliar cultures! A random encounter table provides more long-term value than I bargained for in Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird
  7. Episode 023: Let’s not actually tell him his god’s dead

Wednesday 23 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 22: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird

When you are undead, the range of things that can be weirdly inappropriate expands dramatically, as we discover in Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two
  6. Episode 022: I am not putting my legs in your body, that’s weird

Tuesday 22 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 21: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two

"Prewritten campaign", you say. "Wrong continent", you say. We bid a contemptuous and entirely accidental farewell to the rails of the campaign I thought I was running, in Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book 2.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?
  5. Episode 021: The crumpling noise you can hear was Book Two

Monday 21 November 2022

Necropolitans, episode 20: Do you have orphans right now?

Apologies for the hiatus. I've built up a bit of a buffer now so hopefully it won't happen again (for a while; let's be honest here).

Piracy! It's a crime! You wouldn't steal an orphan, would you..? It's an otter disgrace tonight in Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?.

Direct Links

  1. RSS feed for all episodes
  2. Episode 001: Character Generation
  3. Episode 002: I'm going to keep saying yes until I don't fall in the big hole
  4. Episode 003: One does not simply walk through More Doors
  5. Episode 004: That one was completely harmless
  6. Episode 005: Are you sure you're a barbarian
  7. Episode 006: Maze of the Brian-otaur
  8. Episode 007: Screaming blue murder from his waist
  9. Episode 008: It’s a rare genetic condition
  10. Episode 009: Well, isn't that dandy
  11. Episode 010: The classic ‘Ta-da!’ position
  12. Episode 011: These crabs know advanced tactics
  13. Episode 012: Observe! I will be totally aaaagh
  14. Episode 013: We can take the boss, we're second level
  15. Episode 014: He's very badly burned
  16. Episode 015: Would you say that she's ghastly?
  17. Episode 016: Look at you, coming here with your good ideas
  1. Episode 016.5: The Seven Chants of Anubis
  1. Episode 017: Allow us to inspect that which is in your hole
  2. Episode 018: I'm unclean, so I'm gonna cook this octopus
  3. Episode 019: My bad, almost committed murder
  4. Episode 020: Do you have orphans right now?

Wednesday 16 November 2022

Cheap and Nasty: Weaponising Your Enemies

Cheap and Nasty 3

“Low-cost, effective tricks to keep your lair hero-free!”

Despot reveals shocking secrets to erasing adventurers! Henchmen hate her!

Have you a lair that is plagued with bothersome heroes? Can't take a nap without a howling barbarian trying to bisect your torso? Treasury depleted by the depredations of ravening rogues, money-grubbing mages, and tediously commercial Lawful Evil clerics capable of casting Resurrection for you? This irregular column aims to help you find affordable solutions to your PC Problems.

Weaponizing the Adventurers

As every disreputable villain knows, money buys quality. If you want to make fortresses more impregnable, traps more undetectable, spells more devastating or minions less inclined to betray you at the mere suggestion of a bribe or threat, you're going to have to splash out. Stronger materials, more devious lackeys and more potent magics always have their cost. And that's absolutely antithetical to our mission here - to give You, our valued reader, more snap for your silver.

Friday 4 November 2022

Deeply mediocre GURPS abilities

Sometimes when I'm out running my mind goes wandering. Here are some powers you could have in a GURPS game. They are arguably useful, but deeply questionable nonetheless.

X-Ray Vision Vision

6 points. You see distinct traces whenever someone views an area with their X-ray vision. This power doesn't reveal people, but the extent of their X-ray vision is clearly visible to you, and you can use it to deduce their location.

Detect (Rare; X-Ray Vision; Reflexive, +40%; Vision-Based, -20%) [6]

Ringtone Replication

6 points. You can accurately mimic any ringtone you've heard, and have an extensive repertoire of memorized ringtones to call on. If you have the Mimicry (Electronics) skill, you can roll against Mimicry rather than IQ to use this ability.

Mimicry (Accessibility, Only ringtones, -90%; Voice Library, +50%) [6]

Recover Teaspoons

6 points. By calmly concentrating for 30 seconds, you can cause lost and 'borrowed' teaspoons within 32 yards to teleport to your location. The ability is subtle enough that colleagues don't notice anything; however, the strain it puts on your body leaves you paralyzed for 1 minute, with an HT roll to recover once per minute thereafter. As such, it's best used when you can guarantee some privacy.

Affliction 1 (Accessibility, only misplaced teaspoons, -100%; Accessibility, Useless under stress, -60%; Advantage, Spoon Warp, +1%; Area effect, 32 yards, +250%; Backlash, Paralysis, -150%; Emanation, -20%; Malediction 1, +100%; No Signature, +20%; Requires Concentration, -15%; Takes Extra Time (x32), -50%) [6].

Spoon Warp is Warp (Anchored, afflictor only, -40%; Blind Only, -50%; Exoteleport, -50%; Modified Carrying Capacity, 0.05 lb, -90%) [20], reduced to [1] by GM fiat to represent its realistic value.

Detect, Evil

60 points. You are capable of supernatural feats of deduction and preternetural sensitivity, but drawing on your gifts risks imperilling your very soul. When you activate your detective powers, you gain a +4 bonus on Body Language, Criminology, Detect Lies, Intelligence Analysis, Interrogation, Observation, Savoir-Faire (Police), Search, Shadowing, and Streetwise. Displays of talent also gain a +5 reaction bonus from police officers and PIs. Alternatively, by meditating for a few seconds, you can attune your mind to virtually any substance or object of interest, and sense them at a distance. However, each use of your powers is a diabolical bargan that requires a Will roll to activate - for good reason!

When you use your powers, you are wreathed in a choking fog of sulphurous brimstone, and a withering aura of evil. Your eyes glow red, teeth sharpen, and bony spines extend from your temples and vertebrae. All reaction rolls incur a -4 penalty from anyone who can observe these; animals react at -8 instead, while those who see animals' reactions or have Animal Empathy take a further -1. Your presence causes grass to wither and insects to curl up dead.

Thanks to your diabolical appearance, while channeling these powers, you suffer -1 to your Disguise and Shadowing skills, and others gain +1 on attempts to identify or follow you (including their Observation and Shadowing rolls), or +3 in outdoor environments. They also gain a +2 on rolls to deduce the truth behind your abilities.

Cruelty seeps into your mind, making you cold to the emotions of others (see Callous, p. B125) and bestowing 20 points of Corruption each time you accept your infernal bargain (see GURPS Horror, pp. 146-8).

While you channel evil power, you are vulnerable to "turning" by particularly holy individuals. Worse, if you perish under its influence, your soul will go straight to the Hells! Even at the best of times, your aura is steeped in second-hand evil - you can stride unharmed through the shrines of dark gods and wield their artefacts, but you balk at the powers of goodness as though you were yourself an agent of Evil.

Functions and Detects as Evil [0] + Natural Copper 4 (Corrupting, -20%; Temporary Disadvantage, Bad Smell, -10%; Requires Will, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Callous, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Damned, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Detect as Evil, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Frightens Animals, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Lifebane, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Unnatural Features 3, -3%) [34] + Modular Abilities 30 (Divine Inspiration; Trait-Limited, Only Detect, -50%; Corrupting, -20%; Temporary Disadvantage, Bad Smell, -10%; Requires Will, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Callous, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Can be Turned by True Faith, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Damned, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Frightens Animals, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Lifebane, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Unnatural Features 3, -3%) [26].

Anti-Material Rifle

Take the stress out of mortal combat by imaginging your enemies nude? Not content with laser cannons and monomolecular blades, you have sought out or invented the ultimate weapon. Roll against Guns (Rifle) to attack a target within 100 yards, with normal range penalties (p. B550). You can aim to benefit from Acc 3. On a successful attack, you deal 5d corrosion to creatures and objects made of cloth. The weapon doesn't harm other targets, but any fabric they wear has its DR reduced by 1 for every 5 points of damage rolled.

Since it's a weapon, your rifle can be destroyed (DR 10) or stolen (with a Quick Contest of DX or ST).

Corrosion Attack 5 (Only fabric, -80%; Based on Guns (Rifle), Own Roll, +0%; Breakable, DR 6-15, -10%; Size -1 or -2, -20%; Can be stolen, Quick Contest of DX or ST, -30%; Superscience, -10%) [10].

Curse of Inevitable Death

You can afflict your enemies with a terrible curse, if you're willing to pay the price. If your enemy loses a Quick Contest of HT vs. your Will, they are subject to constant misfortune - the first to suffer, the last to benefit, and always at the GM's whim. However, you die immediately and unpreventably from natural causes.

Affliction 1 (Disadvantage, Cursed, +75%; Malediction 1, +100%; Temporary Disadvantage, Terminally Ill (One Month) (Time-Spanning (One Month Prior) +50%), -150%) [13].