Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 July 2026

Brief musing on supernatural underpinnings for adventures

Weird fiction has inspired a lot of roleplaying; some of it leans into the Undisentanglable Weird, while others skew to one or other of the genres that branched out: flavours of fantasy, sci-fi, horror, and arguably even superheroes.

I love a good weird story, and enjoy playing and writing scenarios for things like the various Lovecraft-derived strands of gaming. While I like different flavours of weird, I'm starting to notice that the scenarios I write have a tendency to be broadly scientific, and frequently end up querying why I'm having to write about physics again when I am canonically Bad At Physics.

Even the scenarios I write that are more magical tend to skew occult: there are some fairly definable things happening, there are principles at play. The Perishing of Sir Ashby Phipps is an exception, being fundamentally supernatural, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it was directly inspired by someone else's short story.

On reflection, I think a lot of this comes down to first causes.

When you write a story or scenario that revolves around science (no matter how mad or pseudo-), you're drawing on the existing rules of the world. Sure, you're probably bending it or entirely making things up: this mineral is antigravitic, this combination of sounds induces weird visions, you can cross over into higher-dimensional space, these plants are mobile and sentient and hunger for human flesh. You might need inventors and trails of evidence, but you only rarely need to make up a reason for the thing to be true at all. Even alien technology boils down to "somebody else invented it".

But when you're writing about supernatural problems, you have to, at some point however deep down in the background, accept that something is happening which can only be explained by "just because".

The victim was murdered, because the inhabitant of the Evil House killed him, because the residents keep turning into vengeful monsters, because they suffered hideous visions, because the old governess' malevolence lingered in the house and tormented its occupants, because her anger at being betrayed had uncanny power, because she was a witch, because magic works.

At a certain point you have to decide that the rules of reality are not in fact how we think they are, and some specific arbitrary set of things can happen which contravene them.

If those hew closely to folklore and superstition, it's easier to accept, and easier for players to navigate: "dead people can become ghosts and haunt the living in various ways" or "you can bestow ill-fortune on somebody through sympathetic ritual" feels accessible in a way that "looking at a cat in a mirror leads to personalities from the Collective Unconsciousness taking over your body" doesn't. In historical games, you can treat some of these as science, because they're widely believed to be true. Even if not, their grounding in common belief makes it easy to justify the PCs thinking of and accepting them.

I think for me, I have difficulty accepting the magical first cause in an otherwise realistic setting. I don't have a problem with it when I'm reading or watching media, or playing games - but my type of inspiration doesn't often seem to land on it as a concept for my own games. My brain always seems to be seeking a further explanation: why does this work? I don't naturally gravitate towards the "just because", even though I'm perfectly happy to accept it. It's odd because my creativity is apparently fine with clearly made-up science as a justification.

There's also the aspect of establishing the bounds of the broken rules. Once magic is real, how do the PCs (and the players) learn that? How do they reasonably come to that conclusion (I assume a gaming group who is willing to lean into genre, but you want some kind of in-character justification)? What kind of magic is possible? If wronged governesses can lay curses on entire houses, are ghosts also real? Might we need to discover a complicated occult ritual which somebody has conveniently written down and perform it, or is this a sympathetic magic thing where you need to find the governess' old engagement ring and put it in her grave? Do occultists, mediums, self-proclaimed cunning folk have actual magical power that we should seek out? Is it worth studying the names of angels and trying to summon one? Can the priest PC banish her by the power of faith?

That isn't a direct influence on my writing, but it is something that comes into play which isn't really true for scientific scenarios. Science might alter the boundaries of what's possible, but it doesn't tend to open the floodgates for potentially hundreds of entirely new sets of rules to suddenly be true.

Wednesday, 15 April 2026

Smashing news (Grommit)!

So I didn't get round to posting about it, but I recently put out a new supplement, Expanded Object Damage Rules for Pathfinder 1e. Basically a comprehensive summary, streamlining, and compilation of everything in Pathfinder related to demolishing objects, whether using tools, magic, attacks, combat manoeuvres, or brute strength of the old "bend bars, lift gates" variety. I'm quite pleased with it.

I've just been pointed at a post on ENWorld which is an absolutely lovely review, which I will post here largely for my own validation, but also for anyone considering picking up this supplement. They also say nice things about my Expanded Fire Rules!


Alzrius

I recently picked up Librarians & Leviathans' PWYW supplement, Expanded Object Damage Rules for Pathfinder 1e, and I have to say that the author, Shimmin, is my kind of crazy!

Reinventing an oft-overlooked area of the PF1 rules isn't new territory for Shimmin, as he also wrote (the exceptional) Expanded Fire Rules for Pathfinder 1e, but here he's gone to new heights. For one thing, he nicely consolidates the various areas where the rules deal with breaking things; no more having to flip around between the rules for sundering objects, the hardness of various materials, and break DCs. Moreover, he expands on the broken condition, adding in things like a broken focus (for a spell) gives the spell a 20% failure chance, or a broken extradimensional container is inaccessible.

He also nicely clarifies several areas where the rules were either so niche that they were incredibly easy to miss, or were lacking altogether. For instance, there are expanded sections on damaging objects using tools (e.g. saws, drills, etc.), and penalties (albeit very minor ones) for trying to beat an object's break DC to represent that level of heavy exertion. There are even a few new feats (such as Splinterstrike) and spells (such as adamant ward) related to protecting or destroying things.

There's a lot more than what I've listed, of course (e.g. rewriting the rules about how much extra hardness and hit points enchanted weapons and armor get), but that covers the bulk of what's here...until we come to the big one.

See, this product is nearly one hundred-forty pages long, and the aforementioned sections don't take up even a quarter of that. So what's the rest of the space for?

As it turns out, Shimmin has also included a table with every magic item in Pathfinder 1E as well, including its caster level, material composition, hit points, hardness, and break DC (the latter three all using his revised rules). The result is a one-stop shop for where to look if your PCs want to break something.

Now, there's obviously a few caveats to the "every magic item" thing, since some (like potions) are interchangeable, while weapons and armor are going to vary based on precisely what degree of enhancement bonuses they've been given. But even so, this is a massive undertaking, to the point of being mind-boggling, and I'm honestly a little in awe of the sheer amount of work that went into this. Here's a product which goes the extra mile so that you don't have to! And given that it's PWYW, there's really no good reason not to pick this up.

If you're a PF1 player who's looking for a break, this is the book for you.


My heart, it is warmed. It's really nice to see reviews and know that somebody, somewhere, cared about a thing you did enough to tell people about it.

Friday, 14 November 2025

One Neolithic Evening

Before the door even opens, awareness born of experience warns him that his home isn't empty. A figure sits quietly beside the fire, wearing black. He doesn't show any surprise. Feigning it would be an insult to both of them. Instead, he sighs deeply and takes a seat. Might as well get it over with.

The fire casts long, deceptive shadows, like flickering memories. Neither of them looks directly at it, carefully preserving their night vision. It's an old habit, and like any old predator, those die hard and mean.

"Come back, Rick. The team needs you. I need you." His visitor sounds almost wistful for a moment. There's a glint in his hand, a polished piece of amber that catches the firelight as he rolls it in a neat circle. It draws the eye and traps the mind, winding thoughts into slow loops. He knows the trick, and knows that won't keep him from falling to its lure.

He leans forward and stirs the fire. Charcoal rattles; sparks drift into the air, burning bright for a moment, and wink out, like a human life. "Stop calling me that. Rick is dead and gone. I let him die a long time ago."

"Fine, Freddie. Real life isn't that simple. You can't stick your head in the sand forever and wait to fossilise. This new situation, it's more than we can handle-"

"Bison coprolites. You just can't let go, can you? Well, I don't do that any more. I walked away into the sunlight."

Little circle, little circle. "I watched you do it. Against my better judgement, I might add. You expect me to believe you've forgotten it all? Haven't thumbed the edge of a flint in all these years? Step into a cave without checking every exit? Never stare into the moonlit night and think about the past?"

It stings to hear the truth so bluntly. But it doesn't matter. "I have a family. A job that means something. A real life." He glances at the wall, at the crude figures drawn in charcoal by tiny hands - bison, bears, brontosaurs. He can almost feel the touch of those soft fingers in his calloused hand, holding him fast.

The amber stops rolling. The figure in black finally turns to make eye contact. "And what do you think will happen to that sweet life of yours when they find out about your past? How will they look at you then?"

The man in black furs feels his shoulders hit the wall, driving the air from his lungs, before Rick's movement even registers. Ancestors, the brute was still so fast. Eyes as emotionless as any Megalodon's bore into his own, so close that their eyebrows threaten to tangle. Powerful muscles, not quite gone to fat, pin him against the stone.

"We're through, Ug. Pick up your club and walk away. There's nothing here for you any more."

Moments creak by, breathlessly, before Ug recovers enough to nod. He's made a mistake, but he's far from a fool. He knows a lost cause when it stares him in the face. The hands slowly lower him, unwind themselves from his tunic, and smooth the rumpled fur back into respectability. Neither of them speaks as they walk to the front door, every stride another step away from the past.

At the threshold, Ug pauses, half-turning to speak over his shoulder. "Listen, Rick-" The look in his old comrade's eye silences him. Rick - no, Freddie, there's no question now - gives a barely-perceptible shake of his head, and swings the door closed.

"Yabadaba don't."

Tuesday, 10 October 2023

New supplement: Pathfinder Phantoms

I released a new thing!

Inglenook's Know Your Phantoms has a bunch of archetypes for phantoms, which as far as I know(?) haven't been done before. Certainly the're nothing official. It's also got the usual scattering of feats, traits, spells, etc. Let's share the blurb:

Saturday, 22 July 2023

Writing List for Self-Motivation

Every so often, I promise/threaten/vaguely imply that I'll write something and then it sort of drifts away into The Heap. This list is an attempt to get in control of that by maintaining a) any list at all, and b) something vaguely public that people can thwack me with.

If I said I'd write something and have failed to follow through, do comment below.

Sunday, 18 June 2023

Article in The Path of Cunning

The latest issue of sporadic GURPS fanzine The Path of Cunning is out, and I'm in it! My article looks at libraries, and how to model them in GURPS - which makes it sound more complicated than it is.

Friday, 4 November 2022

Deeply mediocre GURPS abilities

Sometimes when I'm out running my mind goes wandering. Here are some powers you could have in a GURPS game. They are arguably useful, but deeply questionable nonetheless.

X-Ray Vision Vision

6 points. You see distinct traces whenever someone views an area with their X-ray vision. This power doesn't reveal people, but the extent of their X-ray vision is clearly visible to you, and you can use it to deduce their location.

Detect (Rare; X-Ray Vision; Reflexive, +40%; Vision-Based, -20%) [6]

Ringtone Replication

6 points. You can accurately mimic any ringtone you've heard, and have an extensive repertoire of memorized ringtones to call on. If you have the Mimicry (Electronics) skill, you can roll against Mimicry rather than IQ to use this ability.

Mimicry (Accessibility, Only ringtones, -90%; Voice Library, +50%) [6]

Recover Teaspoons

6 points. By calmly concentrating for 30 seconds, you can cause lost and 'borrowed' teaspoons within 32 yards to teleport to your location. The ability is subtle enough that colleagues don't notice anything; however, the strain it puts on your body leaves you paralyzed for 1 minute, with an HT roll to recover once per minute thereafter. As such, it's best used when you can guarantee some privacy.

Affliction 1 (Accessibility, only misplaced teaspoons, -100%; Accessibility, Useless under stress, -60%; Advantage, Spoon Warp, +1%; Area effect, 32 yards, +250%; Backlash, Paralysis, -150%; Emanation, -20%; Malediction 1, +100%; No Signature, +20%; Requires Concentration, -15%; Takes Extra Time (x32), -50%) [6].

Spoon Warp is Warp (Anchored, afflictor only, -40%; Blind Only, -50%; Exoteleport, -50%; Modified Carrying Capacity, 0.05 lb, -90%) [20], reduced to [1] by GM fiat to represent its realistic value.

Detect, Evil

60 points. You are capable of supernatural feats of deduction and preternetural sensitivity, but drawing on your gifts risks imperilling your very soul. When you activate your detective powers, you gain a +4 bonus on Body Language, Criminology, Detect Lies, Intelligence Analysis, Interrogation, Observation, Savoir-Faire (Police), Search, Shadowing, and Streetwise. Displays of talent also gain a +5 reaction bonus from police officers and PIs. Alternatively, by meditating for a few seconds, you can attune your mind to virtually any substance or object of interest, and sense them at a distance. However, each use of your powers is a diabolical bargan that requires a Will roll to activate - for good reason!

When you use your powers, you are wreathed in a choking fog of sulphurous brimstone, and a withering aura of evil. Your eyes glow red, teeth sharpen, and bony spines extend from your temples and vertebrae. All reaction rolls incur a -4 penalty from anyone who can observe these; animals react at -8 instead, while those who see animals' reactions or have Animal Empathy take a further -1. Your presence causes grass to wither and insects to curl up dead.

Thanks to your diabolical appearance, while channeling these powers, you suffer -1 to your Disguise and Shadowing skills, and others gain +1 on attempts to identify or follow you (including their Observation and Shadowing rolls), or +3 in outdoor environments. They also gain a +2 on rolls to deduce the truth behind your abilities.

Cruelty seeps into your mind, making you cold to the emotions of others (see Callous, p. B125) and bestowing 20 points of Corruption each time you accept your infernal bargain (see GURPS Horror, pp. 146-8).

While you channel evil power, you are vulnerable to "turning" by particularly holy individuals. Worse, if you perish under its influence, your soul will go straight to the Hells! Even at the best of times, your aura is steeped in second-hand evil - you can stride unharmed through the shrines of dark gods and wield their artefacts, but you balk at the powers of goodness as though you were yourself an agent of Evil.

Functions and Detects as Evil [0] + Natural Copper 4 (Corrupting, -20%; Temporary Disadvantage, Bad Smell, -10%; Requires Will, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Callous, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Damned, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Detect as Evil, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Frightens Animals, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Lifebane, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Unnatural Features 3, -3%) [34] + Modular Abilities 30 (Divine Inspiration; Trait-Limited, Only Detect, -50%; Corrupting, -20%; Temporary Disadvantage, Bad Smell, -10%; Requires Will, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Callous, -5%; Temporary Disadvantage, Can be Turned by True Faith, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Damned, -1%; Temporary Disadvantage, Frightens Animals, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Lifebane, -10%; Temporary Disadvantage, Unnatural Features 3, -3%) [26].

Anti-Material Rifle

Take the stress out of mortal combat by imaginging your enemies nude? Not content with laser cannons and monomolecular blades, you have sought out or invented the ultimate weapon. Roll against Guns (Rifle) to attack a target within 100 yards, with normal range penalties (p. B550). You can aim to benefit from Acc 3. On a successful attack, you deal 5d corrosion to creatures and objects made of cloth. The weapon doesn't harm other targets, but any fabric they wear has its DR reduced by 1 for every 5 points of damage rolled.

Since it's a weapon, your rifle can be destroyed (DR 10) or stolen (with a Quick Contest of DX or ST).

Corrosion Attack 5 (Only fabric, -80%; Based on Guns (Rifle), Own Roll, +0%; Breakable, DR 6-15, -10%; Size -1 or -2, -20%; Can be stolen, Quick Contest of DX or ST, -30%; Superscience, -10%) [10].

Curse of Inevitable Death

You can afflict your enemies with a terrible curse, if you're willing to pay the price. If your enemy loses a Quick Contest of HT vs. your Will, they are subject to constant misfortune - the first to suffer, the last to benefit, and always at the GM's whim. However, you die immediately and unpreventably from natural causes.

Affliction 1 (Disadvantage, Cursed, +75%; Malediction 1, +100%; Temporary Disadvantage, Terminally Ill (One Month) (Time-Spanning (One Month Prior) +50%), -150%) [13].

Tuesday, 27 September 2022

How not to write short scenarios

It's happened plenty of times. I have the glimmering of an idea, and sit down to dash off a quick scenario. Something short, simple and punchy. Suitable for a con game, perhaps.

Then something happens. I'm not sure what.

What emerges from the fog is a vast, creaking beast numbering a couple of hundred pages and weighing in at a quarter of a million words.

It happened with The Perishing of Sir Ashby Phipps, my gentle Victorian mystery.

It happened with The Wolf Who Cried Boy, my modern conspiracy cleanup crew adventure.

It happened with the "short, introductory adventure that touches on the distinctive features of Call of Cthulhu" I started, currently under the working title of Cried the Lady.

And the same thing with the Wolf Boy prequel I have in the works.

So seriously, how do people actually write short, one-shot adventures? Because if I could work that out, I might get a whole lot more things written.

I suspect this partly comes down to my own playstyle. I'm an inveterate busybody, always eager to poke at the setting and see what's there. Who maintains the machinery in the abandoned fortress? Wouldn't the chef know roughly how many people were at dinner? If the players rent a top-floor apartment across the street, what can they see going on in the grounds of the mansion? I naturally think about these things, and just as naturally put the answers into what I write.

And certainly I've been frustrated before by scenarios that don't consider what seems like a plausible course of action. That probably plays a part. What if I decide that actually, we aren't so different, you and I? Or call the police and report the obviously criminal actions of the highly-arrestible demographic, instead of mounting an illegal armed raid in search of evidence they're also doing something else that isn't illegal?

It's not that I want to stop writing long scenarios. I enjoy the process of assembling the whole thing, lovingly placing a minor NPC here, a handout there. But I'd like to have short-form writing in my toolkit as well, and as yet it's not something I feel at all skilled with.

Tuesday, 19 July 2022

The Publishing of Sir Ashby Phipps

On Sunday night I finally hit "Publish" on The Perishing of Sir Ashby Phipps. It's been seven eight years in the making.

Behold, The Perishing of Sir Ashby Phipps

Saturday, 16 April 2022

The Empty Chair

I promised a short story as incentive for hitting £1,000 in donations to Azadi. This is that story.

The Empty Chair

I dunno if you ever went to Creggo’s? I mean, R. Cregeen’s Collectibles. It was down by the Ropewalks, off Back Roscoe, until they gutted that whole street after the fire a few years back. A grotty little shop that give off the impression it’d been squeezed like toothpaste between a tyre place and a builder’s merchant; thin shopfront, but it went far back and spilled out into a beautiful sprawling mess of shelves and cubby-holes.

If anybody ever knew what the R was they never told me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d forgot it himself, except I don’t reckon he ever forgot nothing.

I went down there one day after I knocked off at lunchtime, just prowling about seeing what was new. Mazza was there and we got talking about all kinds; he’d picked up a set of antique programmes and theatrical posters I promised to go and see. Not really my thing, but he wanted my take on the design work. After a bit he asked if I’d heard any more about Lara Al-Yaqoobi.

I never had much to do with her; bit too intense for me, that woman. Brilliant though. I seen her at a poetry night down Bootle way about a year before, and she done a couple of readings that had everyone like rabbits in the headlights, really dug their fingers in your brain. Serious authority on esoterica too, especially Assyrian and Spanish works, which is how I’d come to talk to her a few times.

She kept some pretty screwy company, though, and the fringes she was hanging out on had seedy neighbours, like. There was this old Scottish couple, lived in that white corner house at Parkgate overlooking the marsh. Probably still do. They bought a book off me once; lovely 17th-century folio herbal-and-folklore from Andalucia, cash on delivery. I never had a more uncomfortable cuppa in my life, sat there and the pair of them gloating over the pages, giving me glances and saying the weirdest things, trying to draw me out. It was like having tea with someone’s maiden aunt, if she was also a used car dealer and a part-time witch.

Well, she’d dropped out of sight suddenly a few weeks before, and nobody knew where. Turned up missing at a few engagements, not a word said. Dutton tracked down an address in the end, but the place was pretty much cleaned out, and the landlord said he’d never actually met her.

I’d heard she caused a scene at Leung’s place a while back, and that raised a few eyebrows. Mazza said lately she’d been coming out with the kind of talk that makes you back off, straight-up paranoia. The Masons were watching her, apparently, looking for secrets smuggled out of Spain just ahead of the Inquisition. She’d been mixing with people what take what’s wrote down far too seriously, and a couple of manuscript dealers the likes of us wouldn’t touch. Five-finger imports, if you know what I mean. Maybe she got into trouble and had to light out fast. Or maybe she ended up in a mental ward. Cheerful stuff.

It makes you think a bit, cos in this business the distance between professional zeal and full-on psychotic obsession isn’t so very far. Nobody likes to talk about that. There was an awkward pause, and we moved onto other topics until he had to go and pick up the kids.

I wasn’t meaning to buy nothing, but I found myself a nice little watercolour landscape that I fancied, not too pricey, pre-war, so I wandered over to the till.

“Watercolours today, is it? I see you and Marron there were having a nice chat. Doing well, is he?”

“Not bad. He was just catching me up on that business with Al-Yaqoobi,” says I, passing him the picture. It occurred to me that she’d actually been a regular here, not surprising considering everything. You never knew what you might find at Creggo’s, but it was a treasure-trove. “You knew her, didn’t you?”

“That’ll be thirty quid. I did and all, clever lass that, good eye for unusual pieces. So what’s the news?”

“Nothing you could call news. Nobody’s got a clue. A load of nonsense about Triads mostly.”

Creggo licked his fingers and skinned one paper bag from the tight stack under the counter. The rumour of a knowing smirk slunk over his face and dove out of sight down the neck of his horrible jumper.

“Is that what they’re saying, now?” He made, to his credit, a half-arsed effort to instil the words with genuine curiosity, but it come out like a schoolkid winding up sir by asking questions of carefully-calibrated daftness.

I cocked an indulgent eyebrow at him. “Last I heard, yeah. Why, what d’you reckon?”

“Well, people have all kinds of theories, don’t they. I’m just running the shop here. You can’t go expecting miracles.”

He was maybe going for ‘inscrutable’, but pulling off inscrutability relies on beginning with at least the subtlety of the average bull walrus. The two cans of Hen he generally downs of a lunchtime weren’t exactly doing him no favours neither. If he’d opened the drawer and pulled out a placard with “ask me, ask me!” wrote on it in scarlet board marker, and then proceeded to do a tap routine while using it to sign “I know something you don’t’ know” in semaphore, that would’ve seemed comparatively deadpan, is what I’m saying.

I wasn’t exactly in the mood for playing games, to be honest. Creggo’s got a cryptic way with him at the best of times, like, and I half reckon he only ran the shop so’s he could play at being a knock-off Sphinx. He loves casting out these enigmatic phrases, and then if any poor sod bites he’ll wind them up and leave them hanging until he feels like he’s got his weekly dose of condescension in. Proper does my head in sometimes.

You might wonder why he gets any customers, but he knows his stock, and that goes a long way. To be fair, when he’s feeling helpful he can reel out this unbelievable stream of information. He’s been at six universities as far as I know, and I’ve heard him talking at least eight languages without batting an eyelid. It’s not like he’s not entitled to be a cocky git, which is more than most people can say. Annoying, yeah, but he always seemed a decent bloke otherwise, like.

I give him a broad shrug and said I understood he couldn’t go sharing no confidences. Privacy of the client, and all that, a businessman like him. A bit close to the bone, maybe; he flicked an eye and said as how she had been to see him not too long ago. After a spot more back-and-forth he cracks.

Apparently Al-Yaqoobi was hunting down a particular bit of info and she come to Creggo’s looking for it. There was a set of cellars downstairs where he kept a lot of the stock, and he let her rent one out while she worked on some of his books. Didn’t know what she’d been doing, and didn’t ask, cos he frankly didn’t care. I’m pretty sure he just seen it as another chance to play the big man doing a favour.

“Take a look if you want. You know the way.” He had a knowing look on him, like there’s a big secret joke lurking behind his eyes. “Room nine.”

I sort of weighed it up in my head. Most likely he’s just skitting somehow and there’s nothing to find. On the other, I know he’s been dangling bait at me but that doesn’t mean it’s not making me hungry, like. And who doesn’t love a mystery?

There was no door on the cellars, just a manky wooden bead curtain what was probably quite nice fifty years ago. It had a stylised pattern of an elephant on it – Thai work, I think – but the damp or mould or something got to it, so it looked like the elephant was slowly succumbing to leprosy. I glanced at it, and then back at him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Maybe she wrote herself into a corner,” I said, and give him a nod and strolled on through.

******************************************

Like he said, I’d already been down there once, about a year before, when he wanted a hand fetching up some books I’d ordered. The stairs are proper narrow, maybe eighteen inches, and there’s no handrail on the outside even though they go down at least ten foot; plus the ceiling slopes down low overhead, so descending is this calculated exercise in self-control. I’ve no idea how the old devil carted all his stock up and down there.

I flicked on the puny lights before I went down – cheapskate only had a few bare bulbs hanging up there to light the whole place. How Creggo ever found anything in there was another mystery, but if it turned out he was part mole on his mam’s side it wouldn’t especially surprise me, like. It was dead quiet, in both senses of the word, like the darkness just swallowed up any noise along with the light. I had trainers on, so I didn’t make a sound creeping down and holding onto the inside rail for dear life.

The cellar must have been the full length of the shop, and maybe a couple more too. It had red brick walls what I’d call probably late eighteenth century, given the height and brickwork; older than the shop, which meant it was probably left over from an old warehouse, and some enterprising landlord slapped a shop on top to make use of the place when they were redeveloping. There were dock-off heavy wooden shelves everywhere, right up to the ceiling, jam-packed with books and boxes, jutting up to the walls here and there so’s you couldn’t see right down the cellar.

Spaced evenly round the walls there were these arched doorways, although the doors can’t have been period. They had porthole windows in them, and by the look of it they’d been cannibalised off a ship in the late Victorian. Beautiful brasswork, though I didn’t recognise the mark. It might’ve been dark, but everything was clean; you don’t want any dust around, it rots the paper. Must’ve been handy with a brush, that man.

I waited a couple of minutes for my eyes to get used to the murk down here, then I started looking for room nine. As soon as I turned the corner, the shelves cut off sight to the stairs, and I might as well have been a mile underground for all I could tell. Although I’d been practically sent down there, I didn’t feel it was right to go snooping around too much, like. Saying that, I couldn’t help having a sly dekko at some of the stock he kept down here away from the casual punters. That time before, I never went past the first shelf.

Tell you what, there was some lovely items down there: I saw a Bardslay History of Music with all the gilt intact and hand-coloured plates, which I’ve got to admit I took down and spent a minute or two venerating; and a couple of Chinese paintings that must be worth a mint if they aren’t fakes. I took a glance through one of the portholes as I was passing, but it didn’t look like there was anything in there except an empty armchair in the corner. Considering how the rest of the place was stuffed, that was a bit strange, like. Maybe it was his smoking room or something, I thought.

There was a butterfly big as your two hands spread, pinned up in glass, midnight blue and almost glowing. A complete run of Great Houses of England and their Histories you could almost call mint. An absolutely stunning pocket poetry book from somewhere Slavic; I couldn’t read a word, but the binding was this exquisite silver-embossed rose suede, and there was the most delicate leaf tracery spreading from the gild edging to wrap around the verse.

Anyway, I pulled myself together to stop gawping so’s I wouldn’t get Creggo passive-aggressively asking me what I thought of the merchandise. It can’t have took more than a couple of minutes to get to the room, but it felt like about a hundred years. I’ve spent my share of time in library basements and titchy little alley bookshops whose owners are apparently allergic to windows and dusting, but there’s something about dark, quiet, old places what just slows everything down somehow. Like as though all that time what’s pent up in the bricks presses down on your body and on your mind. I never was much cop at physics, but it’s like a cousin of gravity, or you could even say it’s the other kind of gravity in the flesh. Obviously that’s daft, but you know that feeling you get sometimes in cathedrals or proper forests, where it’s like a sense you never knew you had suddenly sweeping in and nailing your tongue down?

Seeing as how Creggo taunted me into going down there, I reckoned he was up to something. He probably knew the atmosphere of the cellar was liable to weigh on people’s minds. So, given how much he likes talking down to people, it seemed like he’d probably rigged up something to make people jump, then he could skit at them for freaking out. I was half inclined to just chuck it in and head back upstairs, but on the other hand – sometimes he did know things, and if there was any clue down there what happened to Al-Yaqoobi I couldn’t stand to pass up the chance. Plus I didn’t want him calling me a wuss.

I walked slowly to the door with IX painted on it in fading white, and paused a minute to think. If Creggo was setting this up as a prank, he’d almost certainly have rigged things up so’s customers would press up against the porthole for a proper look, and then get a jump scare right in their face. So I narrowed my eyes and peered through from a couple of yards back.

Between the miserly lighting, the shelves and the titchy window, there wasn’t much light getting in there. It wasn’t much of a room, from what I could see. There was a desk in there right enough, over in the corner, with your classic cheap wooden chair. I seen a few books on top of the desk, and sheets of paper; someone had been taking notes, or maybe doing inventory, or even binding loose pages back in.

No sign of any mischief this side, so I wasn’t expecting a bucket on my head. Let’s get this over with, I thought, so I leaned forward and basically give the door a jerk like I was opening it.

It didn’t move. Instead, there was a flicker of movement, and something like a mannequin sprung up at the door, rattling around like it was on springs, even banging into the porthole a couple of times.

It’d have give me a shock right enough if I’d been pressing my face up against the glass, but since I was expecting it, it just looked ridiculous, a spindly sort of vague scarecrow thing. It was a clever trick, like; whatever gimmick he had to set it off, I couldn’t make it out. Didn’t really matter, though. Suspicions confirmed. Time to leave.

I was a bit surprised not to see Creggo peering round a corner somewhere gawping at me, but no sign of him. He’d probably be happy enough taking the mick out of anyone what actually went down there. No need to watch, he could imagine it all, way more humiliating that it’d ever be in real life. Although now that I looked, the closest door, room VIII, that was open now – maybe he’d ducked inside?

No sign of him, or anything much in there; just a funny smell, like old rotting metal, maybe. And yet.

There’s nothing inherently sinister, or even weird, about an open door. But now that I looked around, as far as I could see in the tobacco-yellow gloom, all of them doors were open now. They’d opened without a sign of anyone, without a sound. When I shoved that handle I’d been stretching every nerve for a sign of whatever trick Creggo was pulling; I’d have heard a mouse twitch a whisker.

My whole brain stopped, like I’d run into a patch of treacle. I’ve dealt with trouble before, I wasn’t scared exactly, just – none of my instincts had any idea how to react to a simple little inexplicable turn like that. It wasn’t fight-or-flight or anything; it was like how a crowd just stands there staring while something kicks off in front of them.

After probably a minute or two, I shook it off a bit and started back for the stairs, still not really thinking straight. There was that stink what I couldn’t quite put a name to, and that was bugging me like hell. Where did that come from anyway, unless it was out the rooms? And then I stopped for a sec when I seen them Chinese paintings again, not looking exactly, just pointing my eyes at them like when you wake up groggy and spend five minutes staring at a kettle before you remember how it works. Sort of turned my head that way, and I deffo heard something down the far end, like cloth dragging on the floor.

Well of course, I squinted a bit to try and make out what was going on, and I seen something moving, but it wasn’t Creggo.

There was this lumpy shape shuffling along, or waddling maybe, more like a heap than anything. It was slow and awkward, but there was something about it even just from a glimpse. I stopped dead and caught my breath just staring after it, willing it to disappear. Even my shadow tensed up. It took forever just to lumber off behind the next shelf.

When I finally felt safe enough to move, I started creeping forward again, looking for those stairs it felt like I hadn’t seen in a century. Then I saw movement again, up ahead. The first one was well off in the shadows, but this one was just passing under a bulb when I caught sight of it and it made my blood run cold, swear to God.

I don’t really know how to describe it. It was partly like a mass of twisted cloth, all tattered and manky, something you might find mouldering away backstage of a ruined theatre. Or, and I appreciate this sounds hilarious, like some kind of rotting armchair covered in stinking shrouds, heaving itself forward with just this sick damp grating sound where the trailing folds dragged along behind. And they might be lumbering and squat and mouldy, but there was something in there that just set my mind screaming hellfire.

I’d pulled back behind the nearest shelf before I realised. It was one of them moments where your brain locks out everything it doesn’t care about no more, because it knows you’re just a finger away from dead. I knew sure as I ever knew anything, nothing I done ever mattered more than not letting them notice me.

When the sound finally died out, I made myself peek round the corner and there wasn’t nothing there, so I dragged myself out and kept going. I had to walk past where it’d been, and there was these damp marks on the floor, and that rancid coppery stink that sent a shiver right through me. I was stalking along, trying not to tread in the marks, trying not to breathe, trying to look every direction at once, like. You wouldn’t believe some of what Creggo had down there in them back shelves, I couldn’t help running my eyes over it. Most of the stock was boxed up, but if even one of them labels was true… look, there’s people’d literally kill for some of them books. You ever see a first edition Zimmerman? Yeah, that one. And I swear to God one was labelled “Copeland, author’s copy, annotated”.

I was just creeping up past room II, nearly at the stairs. The way the shelves stuck out down there, I had to walk right by the doorway to get out. With the door flung back it felt like I was tiptoeing past a tomb, or a cave, and I could barely bring myself to move a muscle. I could practically feel death spilling out of it. I was stood there for a good while before I could get a hold of myself and start across, and it can’t have took more than three or four seconds but it felt like an hour, and the whole time this terrible sense of exposure and a tingle down my back and left side, just waiting for something unspeakable to touch me. I didn’t dare to look inside. Something might be looking back.

Then I heard a brushing sound from right inside. The only thing that stopped me from screaming out, or breaking for it, was pure instinct. I just had time to slide up between the door and the wall before something come slithering out the doorway like a caterpillar. It was like iron hands grabbed me all round so’s I couldn’t move an inch, not even to breathe, not even to blink or shut my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at it. I seen it crawling past, and the clothy tatters was flapping gently, pulsing even – like a sea anemone, or maybe gills. It passed about a foot away, and paused for a minute, like it was sniffing around for something. Finally it lurched away, so slowly it hurt, and me still thinking it’d turn round any second and that’d be it.

After about a century, it rounded a corner, and I started breathing again and wished I never. The reek was like fire in my lungs. You can’t imagine it; this oily, salty, metallic stench just laced with that bitter stink of thick white mould – I don’t often see them in dreams now, thank Christ, but I do feel that stink in my throat, and I know they’re close, waiting for me to turn round.

When I could stand straight again, I crept weakly round the corner, towards that sliver of daylight from the top of the stairs, where it filtered through the curtain. I was shivering all over from fright and exhaustion and from fighting down the urge to vom. I seen the shape of the stairs ahead, with the light sharp on the corners of them, and then just before I could get my hopes up I seen something else.

There was someone else moving uncertainly towards the stairs as well; moving like I must’ve been, with knees bent and arms tensed, hunched over a bit, and head up to stare all around. Only they didn’t seem frightened, like. More like a cat somehow. Stalking around quietly so’s it wouldn’t be heard coming. And now it crept a bit closer to the stairs and some light fell on it, and I seen its body was too thin, and its face was the wrong shape. It looked like it might go up, and then it stared up at the curtain for a while and hunched, like a cat raising its tail.

It crouched for a moment down beside the stairs, and I realised it might just stay there and block me out. That moment I hated it more than I ever hated anything. Then it sort of shrugged and started turning back, and I was panicking instead.

Thank God, there was a sort of niche in the wall there, you know, the sort what gives access to a fusebox or some such, a few foot deep. With the shoddy lighting down there it was black as pitch and I slipped in right to the back, pressing up against the wall. There was something rammed up against my back that must’ve been the electrics but I didn’t care, because it was coming. I heard it pacing slowly towards me, and a sort of rasping noise that must’ve been breath, only dry as dust. More like sandpaper. And I seen it step across the front of the niche, with the light behind it, and it stopped and turned towards me.

I couldn’t see nothing but a black shape. It took one step into the shadow, like it wasn’t certain; I got the impression it might even be blind. I couldn’t even move, I was dead on my feet, too tired of it all to do anything by then. There was that kind of inevitability, like when you brake for the lights and in your rear view mirror you see the van behind you wasn’t paying attention and it’s just growing and there’s nothing you can do but wait for the crash. It slowly raised one of them hands towards my face, and I could see it was too long and too thin, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. The fingers passed maybe two inches from my mouth. The dry crackle of that breath was so close, I could feel it ever so faintly on my skin.

Then it slowly turned away, and slunk back out into the cellar, and I heard the brush of it against one of the shelves growing fainter.

There was no way to know when it was safe to move, if it ever would be. I could always hear movements somewhere nearby. But eventually I needed to move more than I wanted to hide, and slipped out. There was nothing in sight then, and no sign of anything lurking by the stairs. I took my chance and scurried up like a little rat, and I was never gladder of anything than passing back out through that old bead curtain.

Creggo wasn’t at his desk no more. I looked around, and I seen him down one of the rows, holding a couple of books ready to reshelve. He was stood there staring at me with a look I never could place, and we just stood for a minute without saying a word. Then I walked out, with the bell tinkling behind me.

I never went back there. I didn’t go home neither. I got the train out of town and stayed with a couple of old friends, and once I was feeling strong enough I took myself off to Aberystwyth and did a bit of reading. Whatever happened with Al-Yaqoobi, I don’t think anyone’ll be hearing from her – at least I hope not. As for Cregeen, well, who knows whether he picked the shop or it picked him. After the fire they bulldozed the whole street, and I went past and seen for myself they’d dug it out nice and deep to lay foundations for some office blocks.

I never could bring myself to check round the salvage yards, and ask if anyone happened to reclaim them doors.

Thursday, 15 October 2020

By Spell and Spreadsheet I Abjure

A slight frown creased Harknorth's brow as she gazed down at her work, a sign of immense concentration and mild irritation. She reached up to tuck a stray wisp of hair back under her cap, accidentally painting a black line across her left cheek in the process. Ignoring this frankly irrelevant detail, she dipped her pen once more in the inkwell at her belt, held the papyrus down with her right thumb, and painstakingly inscribed a collection of arcane syllables potent enough to melt a rhinoceros where it stood. Not that she had any intention of doing such a thing. Where would she even find a rhinoceros at this time of year? They'd long since started their annual westward migration.

She paused to scatter a handful of chalk dust to dry the ink. It always reminded her of flour, of childhood surrounded by the creaking of the mill and the tireless circling of sails. Wonderful stuff, flour; you could do practically anything with it, if you knew how, turning feather-soft dust to bread or glue, cleaning copper, repelling ants, even treating skin disease, all through the humble alchemy of the hearth. Her parents said it was like a child, unformed and capable of anything, and looked at her with warm pride. They had high hopes for her, and so did she.

The young wizard bent low over her tome as a breeze rustled through the grass, bringing the scent of woodsmoke. A faint scratching filled the air as her pen danced across the papyrus, forming knots and glyphs with the ease of long practice. It was, all things considered, a nice afternoon to be out in the sun. The pile of debris she was sitting on was largely free of shrapnel, and the slight overhang of the grassy bank behind her helped to deflect the roiling bursts of ice and lightning that sporadically erupted nearby. Speaking of which, Harknorth paused for a moment as a minor divination tripped. She clutched the tome to her body and leaned over to the right as a wash of turquoise flame flowed over the top, reducing grass to ash and scorching the bare earth before winking out.

When the Cranemount 4th Regiment held a live fire exercise, they clung to literalism with the same tenacity they showed in battle.

Thursday, 30 July 2020

Now on DriveThruRPG and the Open Gaming Store

It's been a while, sorry folks. Work and personal life in the Time of COVID have been fairly brutal (I've been signed off work) so writing for the blog hasn't been a top priority.

One thing I have finally achieved is getting my Pathfinder supplements onto RPG stores! My first two are now available from DriveThruRPG and from the Open Gaming Store. So if you fancy taking a look, please drift over there.

I should mention that the Open Gaming Store charges a much smaller commission, so all things being equal I'd prefer you to buy from there... regardless, they're all DRM-free (or supposed to be).

Inglenook's Bloodlines is being reviewed as I have added more material to it. I've also been putting together an antipaladins supplement which I hope you might enjoy.

Hopefully I will be able to do some more writing soon. I just haven't been in the right headspace for pondering general questions of gaming, rather than putting together rules ideas.

Wednesday, 13 May 2020

Work in progress... Gutterspites

I've been working on a few things over the last few months - although most of my gaming energy goes into my Pathfinder campaign, now in its third year. The characters are, uh... 8th level. I should feel more guilty.

Here's a little taster of one of those projects, or rather a taster of a little slice of the project: devising some very, very minor supernatural beasties to afflict the ordinary population of a fantasy realm, the kind to produce folk remedies and the intervention of a village witch rather than a full-blown adventuring party. These are partly for flavour, partly as an alternative to rats and diseased goblins as an introductory adversary for beginner adventurers.

Just wanted to share a bit of this with you! There's still a lot to do on this new supplement but I'm enjoying it (but being sidetracked by the research).

If anyone's wondering about the supplements I already wrote - I'm now waiting to hear back from both Paizo and the Open Gaming Store about consignment, both having received my application form and gone radio silent. Did I put explosive runes on them by accident?

Gutterspite

Imps are often held to be the lowliest of fiends, but even lesser entities are responsible for much misery around the world. Gutterspites are barely-conscious bundles of malevolence that prey on whatever unfortunate mortals they can find. Too weak to inflict serious harm, they settle for inflicting unhappiness, pain and ill-luck, feeding greedily on the misery of their victims.

Gutterspites have the following traits unless otherwise noted:

Paltry Malevolence (Ex): Gutterspites are such pathetic fiends that even a hint of divine power is enough to annihilate them. Any devout follower can use a holy symbol to make a touch attack against a gutterspite. A successful attack with a symbol of a non-evil faith deals 1d6 damage, bypassing their damage reduction. An unholy symbol instead makes a gutterspite sickened and frightened for 1 minute. Unlike most other fiends, a gutterspite’s attacks do not count as evil for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

Shun Hallows (Ex): Gutterspites cannot enter an area protected by a consecrate or desecrate spell. If a holy symbol is displayed in a door or window, a gutterspite must succeed at a DC 15 Will saving throw to pass through the opening or any other opening within 20 feet of it.

Minor Telepathy (Su): A gutterspite has a limited form of telepathy, allowing it to convey simple concepts or emotions to other creatures that possess telepathy.

Baleful Gutterspite

The long, feathery tail of this creature could almost be beautiful, if it weren’t for its sickly colouration and the dull malice in its three bone-white eyes. Four crooked arms clasp greedily at a dropped coin.

Baleful Gutterspite

CR 1/8

XP 50

NE Diminutive outsider (evil, gutterspite)

Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception –2

DEFENCE

AC 16, touch 16, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dexterity, +4 size)

hp 4 (1d10–1)

Fort +2, Ref +4, Will –2

DR 3/cold iron, silver or good; Resist acid 3, cold 3, electricity 3, fire 3

Weaknesses paltry malevolence, shun hallows

OFFENSE

Speed 20 feet

Melee tail +7 melee (1 nonlethal plus fatewrack)

Space 1 ft., Reach 0 ft. (5 ft. with tail)

Spell-like abilities (CL 1st; concentration +1)

1/hour–lightfingers (DC 10, drop item only)

STATISTICS

Str 3, Dex 14, Con 8, Int 2, Wis 6, Cha 10

Base Atk +1; CMB –7; CMD 2

Feats Improved Initiative, Weapon FinesseB

Skills Perception +2, Sleight of Hand +6, Stealth +14

Languages minor telepathy 10 ft.

ECOLOGY

Environment any

Organization solitary

Treasure none

Description Resembling a four-armed squirrel with a third eye in place of a mouth, baleful gutterspites lurk amongst furniture, clothing and rafters, waiting for an opportunity to afflict a victim with bad luck. They relish the scent of failure and frustration, and are the bane of artisans and cooks, who find simple tasks suddenly eluding them.

Fatewrack (Su): A creature struck by a baleful gutterspite’s feathery tail is subject to misfortune. For the following 24 hours, the creature can’t take 10 on any skill checks, and a natural 1 on a skill check always fails as though it were a critical miss on an attack roll or saving throw. This also affects the result of taking 20.

Feather Touch (Ex): The incredible softness of a baleful gutterspite’s tail means a creature doesn’t automatically become aware when struck. The baleful gutterspite can attempt a Sleight of Hand check to conceal the attack, opposed by the victim’s Perception.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Visitant: Hostile Takeover

The latest installment of terrible game fiction for my incomplete sci-fi hack of World of Darkness.


Francis sat in his office, idly tapping an executive toy with his paperknife. The chrome spheres swayed and clacked softly as he waited. Everything was prepared. There was a knock.

“Come in.” He laid the paperknife carefully on his desk, and straightened up.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Hawarden.”

Saturday, 14 November 2015

Visitant: Inside Job

It was a cold night. Frost was settling on the ground, glinting where the security lights touched it. Rounding the corner of his rooftop patrol, Geertz paused and stared dutifully around, scanning the grounds with naked eye, then thermal goggles. Nothing, as usual. The last group of protestors had been nine months ago. Still, they had to stay watchful. Seeing Thompson and his Alsatian making a counter-circuit below, he waved a habitual ‘nothing’, then turned and paced away. The outer wall was three hundred yards away and ten feet high; a fence topped with razorwire separated the car parks and grounds from the compound itself. It would take an intruder several minutes to make the crossing, let alone get inside, and that was plenty of time for the guard patrols to spot them. Nobody was breaking in, not after that business four years ago.

Nobody human, anyway.

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Visitant: Mistaken Identity

Observant readers may notice that, for someone trying to approximate a White Wolf game in a sci-fi setting, I have some major omissions.

Looking closely, almost everything published for Visitant so far is rules, of all things, while the rest is setting material. Where, oh where, is the terrible game fiction?

As mentioned, the six chapters of Prologue: We walk amongst them are only available to premium subscribers. I wouldn't breach their trust by betraying that. But that doesn't mean you get off scot-free you have to go without entirely.

Here, for your delectation and nausea, is the first ever piece of Visitant gamefic.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Out of the frying pan

With the howl of a wounded daemon, the drop pod plummeted towards the Imperial lines, slowing barely in time to turn a fatal impact into a merely agonizing one.

The doors hissed open.

Vast power-armoured figures strode out, their equipment glittering in the weird green light of Drachtos. All around them, Imperial troopers worked and scurried. Here ammo containers were carried from dropship to Chimera; there a platoon were busily reinforcing the new trenches. Thousands upon thousands of warriors, the backbone of the Emperor's armies, toiling to serve His will. Every one of them tough, loyal, and above all - hungry.

"There." One of the figures pointed towards a low concrete building. "The facility is complete, it appears."

They strode purposefully towards their target, and troopers hurried out of their way even as they stared upon the white-armoured demigods. Rameses led the way inside, flicking open the massive doors with one hand. The occupants looked up, and sprang to attention.

"My lord Astartes! Welcome to our humble facility. I hope it meets with your approval. I must apologise, it was built in haste..."

"You are?"

"Adept Arcturis, my lord. I and Lieutenant Brador" - he indicated a guardswoman to his left - "are responsible for this facility."

Rameses nodded approvingly, his mighty brow creasing. "We will see."

He turned and led the way into the main chambers. Chromesteel glistened everywhere, vast metal benches stretching between whitewashed walls. Arclights beamed down so that no corner of the chamber was in shadow. Pipes wove their way around the room like gigantic iron pythons, skull-topped taps and valves jutting from them. Crates and storage units were everywhere.

The commander grinned, running armoured fingers through his rust-coloured hair. All was as promised. He walked to his appointed place in the centre of the room, a gleaming pedestal with many shelves. Two eagle-tipped banner poles hung above him. Mounting the stairs, Rameses slowly drew a gigantic blade from his belt. Brador tried not to gawp; Arcturis had no such self-control. Rameses ignored them.

"Brother-Entremetier Olivier, to your station. Brother-Rotisseur Cradox, kindle the promethium. Brother-Patissier Kipling, at the ready. Commis-Scouts, bring forth the ingredients. I will lead us in the sacrifice to ensure the Emperor's favour."

"Ave, Brother-Cuisinier!" they shouted, as one. Armoured fists pounded on armoured chests like the resounding of great bells.

"Very good. Begin!" Brother-Cuisinier Rameses turned the gleaming cleaver in his hand, and looked around at the staring humans. "And one of you serfs bring me the thrice-accursed ham."

Thus was the coming of the Iron Chefs to Drachtos.

In the grim darkness of the far future there is only brunch.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

The Voyages of Dr Charvik: an unfortunate turn of events

Led astray and abandoned by my companions, I had found myself prisoner in a hateful frozen waste. Freed by the kindly intervention of a passing dragon, I had formed tentative relations with the locals, and discovered the presence of several sites of historical interest. After witnessing the tragic death of a fellow-scholar, I began the journey to a nearby settlement with a message to their jarl, or secretary; but was persuaded to delay my visit by several intriguing ruins along the route.

A large, towered structure caught my whim, and I proceeded towards it apace. I soon found that it was in a sorry state, but much of the overall structure remained intact. I had little specific experience of this architectural style, but my trained eye quickly discerned that the walls reached largely to their original height, except where one section had collapsed outward due to subsidence. There were, moreover, signs of recent activity: a footprint here, a cheval de frise there, and overhead what appeared to be a human body suspending in a cage. Promising stuff, indeed! Whichever historical society might be managing this site, they were clearly dedicated to the restoration project. Their work seemed highly authentic, and I looked forward to meeting them, however rustic they might be. Even an enthusiastic amateur can be a fine conversationalist when there is shared interest.

There was little immediate sign of activity as I entered the compound, but I noticed a figure standing on the ramparts and made my way towards it. Taking a well-earned break from some duty, a man stood staring out across the valley, whistling softly and apparently enjoying the icy breeze against whose fingers I had carefully wrapped myself. From his sparse clothing, I surmised that he had been working at the forge nearby. Seeing him deep in thought, I approached quietly, not wishing to intrude. It was then that a most unfortunate accident occurred.

As I hissed politely to alert the man to my presence, he started violently and span around. I gave a reassuring smile, attempting to lend a touch of apology by extending my claws in a gesture of welcome I had seen elsewhere. At this moment, I believe a sudden gust of wind must have occurred, or else the man was startled to see a visitor without an official appointment. The latter possibility frets slightly at my conscience. Regardless, the tragic result was that the man stumbled backward - threw one hand before his face - his leg struck the crumbling rampart - and he fell with a shriek.

As I leaned aghast over the parapet and gazed at the poor, unmoving corpse, there came hurried footsteps behind me. "What is it?" called a voice. Seeing me, the new arrival stopped in obvious shock and suspicion. He muttered something about gold and death, presumably a reference to some form of blood-money - I had heard such a system operates in the region. Observing the dagger the man had drawn, I attempted to explain what had happened. It was then that the second unfortunate accident occurred.

In the stress of the moment, I found myself stumbling over the rough Human tongue, and turned to gesture. As I described the victim's stumble and fatal fall, I turned sharply and gestured out towards the wall.

I did not realise that, for some reason known only to himself, my interlocutor chose this moment to step towards me. In turning, my tail struck him hard across the knees - he stumbled backward, and tottered on the edge. Spinning back and seeing what had occurred, I flung out a desperate claw towards him, and succeeded in catching his shoulder. In a moment, I would surely have hauled him to safety; yet he shrieked with pain, and thrashed wildly, tearing himself from my grip. By the time I had hurried down the steps, there was nothing even my magic could do for him. Though the ground on the inside was higher, the fall had fractured at least one vertebra in his neck.

Seeing that neither gentleman carried any form of identification - presumably for fear of anachronism - I decided I had best enter the main building, where the superintendents of the project would undoubtedly be at work. It was a most regrettable affair, and I was considerably shaken by both the sudden tragedy, and the streaks of blood that now besmirched my clothing and claws. However, pausing to wash at the nearby trough would have seemed deeply insensitive in the circumstances. I picked up the distinctive mace one of the men had carried, and hastened inside.

As I entered the building, several people turned to stare at me. My bloodstained garb and harassed demeanour can only have added to their bewilderment at seeing an Argonian amongst them. Of course, I was a stranger, but it did not seem like an occasion for polite nothings, and I proceeded directly to the point.

"The man with this mace," I cried, lifting it for them to see. "He is dead now. I killed him." Considering my distress, I still feel this was a praiseworthy first attempt, distilling all important details into a brief and simple message. However, perhaps understandably in retrospect, this did little to reassure my audience; indeed, they backed away and reached for various weapons.

"You are ignorant," I tried to explain. "Weapons are useless. He stood watching at the rampart. I came silent, unseen. Surprised, he died. Another heard his death-cry. He also is dead. My tail struck, he fell, broken."

It occurred to me, as they adopted aggressive postures, that the bloodstains were probably alarming them. How foolish of me! "Here, his blood. I caught him, my claws. He struggled, and died." Pleased with my explanation under trying circumstances, I respectfully let the mace fall, and stared intently at the apparent leader of the three, willing her to discern the truth from my eyes. Remembering belatedly, I made another attempt at the ever-popular smile.

I still cannot fully explain why it was that, rather than hastening to their fallen comrades, these three chose to violently assault me. The temporary madness of grief; some primitive lust for vengeance instilled by their culture; an attack of xenophobia? In the heat of the moment, there was nothing I could do but defend myself against the sudden barrage of blades. Moreover, one of them proved to be a quite capable spellcaster, and bombarded me with ice magic that chilled me almost to the marrow. It was only thanks to my trusty shield that I was able to survive the assault long enough to defeat them. I noted, as the last one slumped mournfully to the floor, that I had quite regained the duelling skills so laboriously instilled in me years before. Indeed, the recent plethora of violence had made a very warrior of me, of all things!

Once I had recovered from my injuries, with the aid of a few medicinal draughts, I arranged the corpses tidily in a corner and explored the rest of the site. It was indeed a remarkably impressive reconstruction of a working frontier fort, though of course, I cannot say how accurate the details might have been. With a few explanatory placards, and perhaps a tea-room, it will make an excellent destination for the discerning visitor.

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Authentic Game Fiction

Thanks Dan.

There was silence in the tomb, the silence of nine hundred years. Only vermin still moved amidst the dust, feeding on the fungi and one another. Generations of spiders – nay, entire dynasties – had woven their webs here, and those webs became dust while the next generation wove their own, building shroud upon shroud in unknowing tribute to the silent dead.

As night fell, as it had done for nine hundred uncaring years, a lightning bolt struck the great stone that had sealed the tomb from prying eyes. Mysteriously bypassing various gnarled trees with branches like skeletal claws, it struck one of the lowest points for miles around and shattered the ancient slab, just as a band of travellers happened to wander past. Moments later, the light rain turned to a torrential downpour that inconveniently made it impossible to travel any further without seeking shelter.

Footsteps thudded softly on the dusty floor as they strode into the tomb: a slender elf who nonetheless bore several hundred arrows on her wiry back; a brawny dwarf in a cape and heavy armour that must have been deeply uncomfortable to wear for the fifty-mile march from town; a scarred man in studded leathers that, considering he hadn’t mentioned cleaning them during the two years of in-game time that had passed since he took them from a dead hobgoblin, were dry, cracked, and stank to high heaven.

“So we put up a tent here and rest.”

“Och aye,” said the dwarf in accents that proclaimed his proud Punjabi heritage, “we’re in a tomb, laddie, so we should probably go and kill a load of undead.”

“Or we could just wait here until the storm’s over and then go.”

The elf shook her head. “I’m pretty sure the storm won’t blow over until everything in the tomb has risen from the dead and been killed again. You know how this goes.”

“I hate skeletons. No backstab bonus.”

“Says you, mister I-have-a-bludgeoning-weapon. What are me and my longbow supposed to do here? Has anyone got a club?”

The dwarf sighed. “Can you even use a club?”

“Everyone can use clubs now.”

The elf briefly examined the room, her sharp elven gaze picking out every crack and beetle, but finding nothing that could be wielded as a single-handed bludgeoning weapon.

“Look, I go outside to one of those gnarled trees and break a branch off.”

“That’s not really a club…”

“Then I sit right here and use Nargrim’s dagger to cut bits off it until it counts as a club. Seriously, after the fight in the dark windy caverns where missile weapons don’t work, and all the oozes in the marsh, I’d like to actually inflict some damage for once.”

After some minutes of whittling, the bold party crept onwards once more, down a dark corridor. Crumbling plaques depicted forgotten battles, and the way before them was thick with cobwebs that lent a ghostly cast to all they saw. Halfway down, their vision suddenly failed them.

“Wait, damn, I forgot to light the lantern.”

“I thought Gorn was carrying a lantern?” said the elf, looking round at the scarred man who she couldn’t actually see. “Gorn, you have the bullseye, right?”

“No,” replied the mercenary, with customary patience. “I can’t use a lantern and a greathammer at the same time. We went through this.”

“Nae problem,” said the dwarf. “To a dwarf’s eyes, it’s as bright as day in here. I’ll lead the way, and if I see anything I’ll light a torch. The noo. ”

“You know that won’t work. Anything down here is bound to be undead, so it can see in the dark anyway.”

Sighing, the dwarf pulled out tinder and flint from the enormous backpack of gear he carried. Naturally, it was at the very top. With lantern lit, they gazed around at the crumbling plaques depicting forgotten battles.

“Didn’t we see this before?”

“No, it was dark.”

They strode boldly down the corridors, stirring the dust of aeons and ripping aside the cobwebs. A crumbling stone archway led into a great hall, and the lantern cast its narrow beam across row after row of stone slabs, where web-covered boxes lay. The far end of the hall was wreathed in shadow, too far to see. The three companions paused on the threshold.

“Shall we enter, and risk disturbing the sleeping dead?”

“Might as well, we’ll have to kill them sometime.”

The elf shook her head firmly. “Look, there’s probably tons of those things and it’ll burn through our supplies. Let’s just keep going and kill whatever’s in charge here. We can come back here later.”

“But what if they come up behind us?” asked Gorn. “I mean, that’s what I’d do.”

“Well, there’s no reason for them to wake up,” argued Iharviel, waving an enthusiastic hand. “It’s only going to be if we go inside.”

The dwarf coughed. “Isn’t that what ye said about the kobolds? Lass.”

“Yeah, well, I should have been right then too.”

They stood for a few minutes bickering in the flickering torchlight. Eventually, the dwarf stood watch while the others wandered back to the entrance to fetch some rubble. They returned bearing a broken timber, only to find the archway webbed by fifty feet of hemp rope, carefully wrapped around ten pitons that had been tapped between the stones.

“There you go, much better than trying to block it with stones!” exclaimed the dwarf, looking very pleased with himself. “Plus, this way we can get in later. Aye?”

“Won’t they just cut through the ropes?” asked Gorn, cynically. “I bet they can do that silently too.”

“Well, maybe, but it’ll hold them off for a while, anyway.”

“And then we won’t have any rope. In fact, we don’t have any now. What if we need rope?” asked the elf, tossing her fine silvery locks in what should have been a forceful way, but looked like an unsuccessful pitch for a shampoo campaign.

“It’s fine. We can just come back and get it if we need rope.”

“Then we might as well block the doorway with stones.”

“No, because it’s already blocked now and it’s a waste of time.”

“Yes, but not time time, only game time. You can do anything in basically the same amount of real time. And the storm won’t stop until we’re done.”

“Well no, it’s a waste of time time too, because I just blocked the doorway already. I mean, all the time we’re arguing about this we’re actually using up more real time, even though no time is passing in-game.”

While the demi-humans argued, the mercenary was gazing thoughtfully at the doorway. “You know…” he mused, “…didn’t we run out of gold before we got the climbing gear, because we needed a longbow?”

The rope, which Nargrim had in fact absent-mindedly balanced on some protruding corners and had just happened to stay there, fell in a sudden heap as gravity overcame friction. They all looked at it.

“So we should block the doorway with stone,” said the dwarf at last.

To his irritation, Gorn frowned slightly and shook his head. “Actually, better not. When we kill the whatevermebob in charge, they’ll probably all crumble to dust.”

“Exactly. And we can loot the place without going through a fight.”

“Or getting any XP.”

“You know,” said the elf with sudden spirit, “Gorn is right. I actually feel quite strongly that we should strike down the evil right in front of us before going any further. Who knows what fiendish plans they might get up to while we’re not looking? Also, I have this feeling that I'm just on the verge of mastering some more spells.”

Clutching weapons, they advanced slowly into the room, gazing around. Their booted feet raised clouds from the floor, thick with the dust of centuries. The boxes were each a little under six feet long – exactly the right size to hold a vaguely human corpse of average height for the period, considering the rampant malnutrition. The party were all deeply impressed when they noticed this detail, which greatly enhanced the verisimilitude of their experience.

“Should they nae be waking up?” asked the dwarf, suspiciously. “I was expecting to be surrounded by now.” The gentle lilt of the Valleys lent his words a charming innocence.

His companions shrugged. “Depends, really,” said Iharviel. “If it’s just an HP sink, they might stand up any time. But sometimes they wait until you touch a coffin.”

“That’s, like, punishment for your greed,” said Gorn. “It sort of discourages people from tomb-robbing, except not really. I mean, we wouldn’t be in here if we weren’t supposed to loot it.”

The elf gestured towards the far end of the hall, which remained more shadowed that you might expect given the strong lantern being pointed at it. “Alternatively, they might not animate until we get over there. There’s probably an altar or something, and a ghost that mutters about intruders and defiling, and then we can have a set-piece battle where we’re surrounded.”

Gorn looked thoughtful. “You know, in that case we might as well start breaking coffins open. I mean, if they’re going to animate anyway it’ll make no difference, and if they don’t animate until we get to the altar we can smash them up now.” He grabbed the nearest coffin, wrenched the lid off and raised his vast hammer to shatter the bones within. Iharviel gasped and hurled herself at him, and the mercenary reeled as his heavy blow swung wide.

“Don’t do that, idiot!”

Rubbing at a strained shoulder, the man glared. “What? Sudden religious qualms?”

Earnest emerald-green eyes stared back at him, with mingled pity and rebuke in their jewelled depths. “Somehow I feel like we probably wouldn’t learn anything by smashing these bones as they lie peacefully in their coffins. It would be better to wait and test our mettle against them if they do awaken.”

“…ah.”

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

The Voyages of Dr Charvik: professional interest

Led astray and abandoned by my companions, I had found myself prisoner in a hateful frozen waste, awaiting an abrupt termination to my career at the hands of murderous authorities. Freed by the kindly intervention of a passing dragon, I had reluctantly fought my way free of the blazing ruins and followed a native guide to a nearby village in search of shelter, food, and more amenable company.

My guide Had Var led me into a dwelling and introduced me to the residents. These poor but generous folk welcomed me in with only a modicum of staring, and shared their meal with us. In truth, the cold had slowed my metabolism sufficiently that I had not yet digested my meal of, it emerged, two days earlier, when I was knocked unconscious and captured. More welcome was the roaring fire, where I warmed myself eagerly. Had Var was a little shy of the fire, presumably still shocked by the fiery destruction of his place of employment. I expressed due condolences, and offerd my hope that he would soon find fresh occupation with some more amenable employer. Looking around, I very much doubted that severance pay or unemployment benefits existed at all in this place.

Had Var assured me that he would cope, but was more preoccupied with a practical matter. The keep (a place called Hell End, I believe - how appropriate!) had been destroyed by a dragon, and someone ought to be informed. This had not, I confess, have been my first thought, but I realised as I considered the matter that there would undoubtedly be paperwork to complete, reports to write, and so on. Would I, perhaps, be willing to undertake a journey to the local jarl (some species of secretary) and pass on the news? He was naturally shy in asking me, considering how I had been treated. However, I was most willing. For one thing, though the house where we rested was warm and dry, I suspected that more salubrious quarters could be found elsewhere.

Moreover, the proposal showed once more the good sense he had always so far displayed. As the local man, he no doubt had all manner of responsibilities to perform, bodies to identify, salvage work to undertake, and so on and so forth. He was well-placed to take care of these matters. I, on the other hand, was a trustworthy, educated stranger with no immediate responsibilties in the area, and an obvious distaste for any further involvement with matters in Hell End. Nor could I possibly receive any censure for supposed dereliction of duty, always a risk for any underling delivering unwelcome news. Who bettter to carry a clear, reliable message to a town some distance away? It would, no doubt, also be an opportunity to receive apologies for my treatment, make appropriate arrangements for my return to civilisation, and perhaps even enjoy some more refined company.

Gathering a small bag of food in case of trouble, I strode outside. It was only an hour or so's walk to this town of White Run, and soon I would be on my way back to... actually, I could not quite recall the name of whatever benighted town had been our last port of call. Presumably, however, my baggage would still be there. Or at least, I could find a way to contact the traders I had been travelling with. That, at least, should not be difficult. One of them, I was almost certain, had been called Master Something. Another had a beard, and both of them wore dull-coloured limb-fitting garments much like those my recent host had sported. Was that not one of them across the street, perhaps looking for me? No, it would seem not. But that fellow over there had a beard! Ah, my mistake.

It appeared this might be a little more difficult than I had hoped. Still, first the brief stroll to White Run in the warm evening sun - the chill wind was less helpful, but I now had a warm cloak - and then all could be dealt with comfortably. I nodded politely to the guards as I wandered out of the town gate, turned a corner along the stream, and was immediately set upon by a pack of wolves.

With some difficulty, I extricated myself from the animals, with many benevolent thoughts towards my military tutors. It occurred to me that perhaps these animals were in some sense domesticated, living as they did so close to the town, and bent to check the bodies for brands or collars. Could it be simply that they had never before encountered one of our people? I found neither, but noted that the pelts were of a different subspecies to any encountered in our home shores. As such, I deemed it wise to remove them for later study. Comparative biology is not my primary field, but a scholar should always have an open mind and a wide range of interests. If they did not prove to be scientifically valuable, they might at least be of some use in keeping out the cold.

Finding the pelts a little inconvenient, I returned to the village and sought out a local trader. The family was apparently engaged in debate of some kind, and I politely waited for them to conclude. With some difficulty, I was able to converse in pidgin Human and persuade them to part with a few sacks in exchange for gold. I took the opportunity to also purchase some small jars and boxes to store the botanical specimens I had so far obtained. When the subject of the wolves was broached, with particular reference to their immediate proximity to this village, my interlocutor seemed rather offended than concerned. Perhaps wolves are a taboo of this proud people? Perhaps his civic pride was hurt at the implication that a traveller had been inconvenienced by their rather lax environmental management? I did not care to enquire further.

Observing me with interest - and one must assume that few of our people, and perhaps fewer educated folk, travel to this land - the male attempted some conversation that I struggled to follow. Luckily, his partner intervened. Apparently, something they described as a "golden claw" had gone missing, presumed stolen. I presumed this to be some species of local herb or fungus, prized for its medicinal properties, or perhaps a trinket; mildly interesting on a better occasion, but I could not immediately see why they wished to discuss it with me. However, at length I realised that they were discussing a relic that, if authentic, must undoubtedly be of genuine archaeological importance. A ten-inch golden object, with mobile joints, in the shape of a reptilian foot? You may be assured that this secured my attention.

The couple seemed to know where the purported thieves had taken their relic, and this made me wary. It is so easy for a visiting researcher to find themself involved in local matters and pressed to take sides. Was this truly a theft, or simply a case of disputed ownership? These cases are sadly common where historical artefacts are in question, and even in Blackmarsh it is not unknown for cases to proceed to the High Court itself. In this desolate place, where mere gold is prized so highly, there were undoubtedly other considerations in the case. My natural caution warred with my academic's inquisitiveness, and scholarship won the day.

The thieves, I was told, had travelled to a nearby ruin known as Bleak Fells, or Black Falls, or possibly Back Ferns, said to hold ancient crypts. This, I felt, disclosed the truth of the matter. Such a site would be an obvious draw for any scholar. It seemed to me that the most likely explanation was this: an archaeological expedition had travelled through the area and enquired in the village about relics, as is common practice, for many items are unearthed and kept for decades by laymen unaware of their true significance. The merchants had possessed this golden claw, and displayed it to their visitors. Perhaps they had agreed to a sale and later changed their mind, for often and often an owner will wilingly render up some item, only to later wonder whether they settled for too low a price, and have been cheated by the stranger with a greater knowledge of an item's value. However, let us be honest; it is by no means uncommon for underfunded researchers to resort to other means as necessary to secure a vital artefact.

In either case, my course was clear: I must immediately make contact with this expedition. As a scholar of architecture and associated matters, I had a natural interest in their work and was keen to learn more about it. Moreover, such a group was bound to have links to more civilised lands, and might be able to assist me in resuming my own journey. Perhaps I might even find one of my correspondents was present! In any case, I would take the opportunity to raise the question of this golden claw, and suggest that they carry out further negotiations with the previous owners. Such matters are, as readers will know all too well, of vital importance in maintaining the good reputation of scholars and their institutions. It is easy for one bad apple to impede future research by sabotaging relations with the local community, whose practical assistance and oral tradition is often so valuable to us.

Thus, I delayed my visit to the jarl a little, in order to pay a brief call to Black Fells. His, her or its paperwork would have to wait; I saw no particular urgency.

Black Fells turned out to be a large temple-like building high on a snowy mountain. Even at a distance, I was impressed that something of its age and primitive human craftsmanship had survived the centuries. While simple squares and walls may stand, it is unusual for complex and fragile arches to last in exposed positions, still less when subject to the gales and icy temperatures of this clime. All the more reason to study it.

I made a careful entrance, moving quietly and cautiously to minimise potential damage to the archaeological site or startling the workers. Inside, I found the pleasing glow of a warm fire crackling nearby, adjacent to a tunnel leading further into the complex. Two figures stood warming themselves at the fire, while I noticed the corpses of several large rodents scattered around the building.  Sadly, it seemed that the complex had not survived as well as I hoped; large sections of the roof had fallen in, weakening the structure and leaving it liable to sudden collapse. The urgency of the survey work was clear, and I could see that the team had wasted no time in delving deep into the subterranean section while it was still accessible.

I stepped forward and called a greeting to them, waving my axe to attract their attention in the flickering firelight. To my surprise, they shouted agressively and drew weapons. Presumably, they feared I was a bandit of some kind, come to try and raid their camp. To soothe their fears, I lowered my axe, gripping it near the blade with my spare hand to show I meant no harm, and bared my teeth. Now, to the lay reader this may seem a curious way to show friendship; but humans have a gesture called "smile", used extensively as a sign of humour or peace.* I had had plenty of recent opportunity to observe the phenomenon, and even discreetly practiced it in my private chambers. The lips are curled back, the jaws slightly parted, the cheek muscles tightened, and often a sharp exhalation follows.

* Ziltrach and Hbiss, in their Comprehensive Introduction to Human Gesture, write extensively on this gesture and its subtle cultural and social connocations. Hbiss argues convincingly that it derives from a gesture of mercy to a physically weaker person, indicating that although fully capable of doing so, the smiler has made a moral decision to refrain from eating them. Ziltrach offers several interesting counter-hypotheses, including the argument from social advantage; that is so say, displaying a full set of teeth as an indicator of fitness, marking the smiler as a capable and valuable individual whose friendship is likely to be beneficial.

Despite my efforts, the humans remained alarmed, and one loosed an arrow at me while the other circled round. Unable to retreat through the door, I was forced to defend myself. Searching the bodies, I came to the conclusion that these could not possibly be academics. Most likely, then, they were guards or porters hired by the expedition leaders. It was most unfortunate that I had been obliged to kill them, but seeing my own extensive injuries I could not wholly sympathise. Thankfully, a schooling in basic healing magic allowed me to repair the worst of the damage.

At this stage I should, perhaps, have left a polite explanatory note and withdrawn. However, I was enchanted by the historic site, and felt a strong urge to follow the footprints leading deeper within. Perhaps, too, I would be able to speak with the expedition leader and make my apologies in person - surely any guards found within would be more sensible. In fact, a rational person would likely conclude that, since I was present in the inner chambers, I must have been allowed passage by the guards, since it was statistically improbable that a single and (I might add) physically unimposing stranger could have overcome them by force. Thus, I saw no reason for concern, and began my descent.

The catacombs were not splendid, but of respectable artistry and containing many ceramics that had survived the years. Sadly, large roots had broken through the roofs and walls in many places, shattering stone and blocking passageways. I doubted that funding would ever be available to fully excavate the ruins. There were sporadic signs of habitation - a brazier here, a footprint there - but I saw no-one. The tunnels grew increasingly thick with cobwebs, some of them both large and recent, and at last I came to a heavily-webbed chamber from whence a faint noise issued. Presuming this to be my fellow-scholar, I pushed through the fresh webs, announcing slowly and clearly that I was a friend, for I had no wish to meet with further violence.

Such a scene met my eyes. The room was a high and once ornate chamber, but now every inch was covered in layer upon layer of spiderweb. The bound corpses of rodents, and of humans, littered the floor. Against the far wall, I saw a faint struggling motion, and I realised at once that the archaeologist must have been seized and imprisoned here. But where was the culprit?

As it happened, the culprit was at that moment directly overhead and descending with great speed. It was only the faint clattering of cuticle against carapace that alerted me, and I sprang aside in mounting horror as the thing dropped. Its mandibles chattered, its myriad eyes glared balefully, and it approached with obvious predatory intent. Naturally, I turned tail and sprinted from the room at full pelt.

Having rounded the corner, I soon recollected that the entrance had been very narrow, and surmised correctly that the spider could not possibly have pursued me. My course of action was clear. I must free the unfortunate who had been captured, before their organs were rendered into a soupy broth by digestive enzymes; and, incidentally, take samples from this remarkable arachnid. It proved a straightforward matter to bring the creature down with repeated bowshots, though its intriguing habit of expelling globules of some neurotoxin was something of an impediment. Having no sample phials, I was obliged to collect some of the subtance in a small pot and seal it with wax. Thankfully, there were many candles nearby. Having secured my specimens, I took brief sketches of the web architecture and certain anatomical features, since it seemed improbable that I could convey the creature's corpse to any really competent taxidermist. I also secured some unhatched eggs from amongst the webbing, taking care to close and label these jars.

Having dealt with the urgent matters, I began to saw through the webbing around the latest victim, who had been shouting in a rather distracting manner for some time. Once his mouth (for it was a male) was free, and taking care not to loose any limbs in case of violent reactions, I introduced myself and enquired as to whether he was the gentleman studying the golden claw. He eagerly confirmed this; I could not quite make out his words due to his extreme zeal, but he clearly stated that he understood its secrets and would show them to me. This I took to be a sign of coherence, for he had apparently grasped that I was a fellow-scholar with whom he could talk sensibly.

My analysis proved to be a little inaccurate, for no sooner had I finished unbinding him than he sprang deeper into the tunnel, calling out in his enthusiasm. I deduced that some chemical action of the spider's venom had affected his mind, for he was clearly heedless of danger. Concerned that further spiders might be present, I followed at pace but a little more cautiously, and we entered a long burial chamber lined with decomposed bodies. Passing by, my keen eyes noted the once-fine burial cloths, obviously human bone structures, and extensive grave goods.

To my astonishment, my companion's progress was suddenly interrupted by some of the dead lurching upright and striking at him with rusting weapons.

Before I could intervene, he was struck down. It was all I could do to fend off my own attackers. Even now, I have not yet forgiven myself for this carelessness. Now and again, the scene will rise again to my eyes, and I wonder whether there was not something I could have done differently. If I had only been a little faster - been more hesitant to release him - performed a simple phlebotomy and sanguinochemical distillation - this fearless scholar might have lived to finish his work.

Having destroyed the creatures, I went to my companion's aid. Satisfied by the gaping wounds in his chest, cranium and neck, and the total absence of heartbeat or breath, that he was beyond my help, I carefully emptied his pockets. My hope was that the man carried some form of identification, along the lines of a personal seal, that would enable me to identify him and report his death; perhaps also return any notes to his department. Alas, there was none. Moreover, I found no documentation whatsoever, despite a thorough search of both corpse and the upper chambers. I was forced to conclude that whatever observations he had made, they were purely cerebral, or hidden so well that I could not discover them. Only the claw remained. It was exactly as it had been described: remarkable workmanship for its age, if rather crude. Geometric spirals decorate the digits, while the palm is inscribed with three stylised animals.**

For further particulars, consult Antique Dragon Claws of the Skyrim Region, Charvik U., AQ342, Press of the Eight Winds. The items can be inspected at the Academy by special arrangement.

I quickly realised what my companion must have always known: the claw was intimately associated with this monument. Unable to resist the temptation to venture a little deeper, I was forced to dispatch a number of animated skeletons - truly an uncomfortable phenomenon of this region, and one of which future travellers would do well to beware.

The tunnels proved of considerable interest, and I spent more time than I initially realised in taking down my observations by the light of the many convenient braziers, presumably imbued with some illuminatory enchantment. I even discovered simple mechanisms built into this tomb by the ancient architects - a very impressive demonstration of early engineering. In several places I was obliged to rotate symbols to reflect the symbology of the chambers - hardly an effective security measure, but nevertheless a feat of engineering. Similarly, the claw proved to be a key to a very fine bronze-worked door; displaying the same short-sighted cunning, the door contained a symbol lock whose combination was inscribed upon the key itself, without which an intruder could not in any case proceed further.

Eventually, I realised the hour was becoming late and was forced to leave, since I did not wish to spend the night in an inhospitable place. Rather than make the long trek round, I crested the mountain and found myself descending into a valley where a huge fire was blazing. Naturally, I made it my destination.

I quickly discovered the reason for the size of the fire: it had been constructed by a pair of vast humanoids. These, clearly, were the giants of which I had read so many papers. Though the creatures did not seem overtly hostile, I was well aware of the peril these simple brutes can present to a traveller, and effaced myself quickly - very, very quickly, in fact. Seeing faint smoke on the darkening sky, I continued northward towards what I correctly identified as my destination of White Run.

But first, I simply must investigate the intriguing half-ruined buildings that littered the valley floor. The jarl's paperwork would have to wait.