Rusty Mick's Off-Brand Specials: Mk II Flashfield

“It's really gear”
“Sometimes you just need that 'what the hell!?' edge”

Look, you don't go to Mick's for chips and irons and that workaday crap. The reason I trot down to that poky rat-hole every once in a while is for an edge. Mick's genius, if you wanna call it that, is laying his servo-hands on kit that no scummer nor rent-a-cop nor Mister Johnson ever considered you might have.

"Sure, any Corp surplus hut can flog you a cheap flakjack or some bonded armour. Maybe even a knockoff force bubble. Nobody's going to overlook that, are they? People come prepared.

Or you can spread some cred, book yourself in at an all-night chop-shop and get subdermals, if you don't mind never taking another jab of stimms. Subtle, maybe, but when Mister Johnson puts two barrels of las in your back from half a metre it's not making much difference.

This little chap may not look much, but it might just save your life. Just so long as you can turn the situation round in three seconds or less. Now, about that speedchip you didn't want..?"

DuttonTech Mk II 'Oops' Flashfield

This discreet device is a simple circular disc ten centimetres across, with a web of flexible filaments that stretch along the spine, easily covered by a simple shirt. It's wired to a hefty powerpack that can be worn as a belt, slipped under a chestplate or concealed in bulky shoulder pads. Though the pack wouldn't disgrace a lascannon, it's burned out with a single use, and that's barely enough for the needs of this power-hungry contingency plan.

The filament mesh serves as an antenna to detect incoming energy signals above a certain threshold, including lasweapons, plasma beams and most projectile fire. When triggered, the Flashfield discharges its powerpack to generate a dense energy field that protects the back, neck and back of the head. Though the field burns out in seconds, it buys the wearer enough time to react to a betrayal - or, more charitably, an enemy getting the drop on you.

Specs

(system-neutral and therefore vague)

The Mk II senses concentrated energy with enough velocity to cause serious harm - it would detect a bullet, energy blast, shrapnel or blade, but is typically set so a fall or punch wouldn't trigger it. Large objects that injure through sheer mass, rather than concentration of force, are usually ignored.

When triggered, the field is strong enough to resist small-arms fire and reduce the effect of typical longarms by 80%. Vibration alarms silently alert the wearer to the danger, and are strong enough to wake them. It lasts long enough for the wearer to:

1. notice the attack
2. move a few steps; or, drop and roll
3. draw and ready a weapon and take a shot; or, strike at an attacker; or, dive into cover

The device is good for a single use before burning out. Supplies are highly erratic.

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Inspired by Whartson Hall's excellent Cyberpunk game. The old "politely invite them to go first and shoot them in the back" trick is established enough that I got to wondering why nobody seemed to have invented a countermeasure.

Inglenook's Lesser-Used Spells

A while ago I began compiling a list of, uh, alternative spells for Pathfinder, so basically for D&D.

Having been prompted by Big Jack Brass' recent tweets, I hereby present an extract from that inexplicably-unpublished manuscript, "Inglenook's Lesser-Used Spells"

• Flares
• Speak to Dead
• Burning Hams
• Disguise Elf
• Ear-Piercing Cream
• Enlarge Parson
• Really Obscure Poison
• Cockling Skull
• Reign of Frogs
• Enter Poe Singh-Han's Big Bees

(yes, I actually have rules for these, but I don't feel like editing them for the blog at 1am and I might try to make them into something publishable)

Cheap and Nasty 1: Meatgrinder

Cheap and Nasty 1

“Low-cost, effective tricks to keep your lair hero-free!”

Baffle Adventurers with this One Weird Trick Discovered by a Mum(my)

Have you a lair that is plagued with bothersome heroes? Can't take a nap without a howling barbarian trying to bisect your torso? Treasury depleted by the depredations of ravening rogues, money-grubbing mages, and tediously commercial Lawful Evil clerics capable of casting Resurrection for you? This irregular column aims to help you find affordable solutions to your PC Problems.

The Value of Velocity

Some spells are priced with the assumption that adversaries will, generally speaking, have time to regroup and change tactics after the effects first kick in. But what if we could compress those spells' effects into a few devastating seconds? More bang for your buck! Well, let us introduce you to our little friend, velocity.

Ensure that your impregnable fortress of doom features a large chimney, from which faint smoke occasionally rises at predictable intervals. Consider also providing a sizeable aqueduct and/or well with a strong current within. Each of these should be 10x10 feet squares and coated inside with slick oils, mossy weeds or other low-maintenance lubricants (permanent Grease is nice, as are a layer of bricks actually made of very sedentary oozes, or illusory bricks that stop existing once the climber realises they're illusory).

Have your untiring deathless spies watch constantly for intruders, pretending at all times not to notice them. For safety's sake invest in a few high-DC, low-profile detection spells as well.

As soon as heroic adventurers venture towards your fortress, send your psychic minions to the aforementioned chimney, aqueduct and well. Have them each cast Etheric Shards along the length of these convenient tubes. A 9th-level caster (minimum) will produce 90 feet of shards, or 18 x 5-foot cubes, lasting 9 hours.

Shortly after an adventurer has begun their journey along the enshardened tube, they should discover it is no longer possible to stop it due to the aforementioned lubricants. In addition, they should begin taking 1d8 damage per square of movement and making Reflex saves to avoid 1 stacking bleed damage (with a -4 penalty on those saves for forced movement, like... falling).

Even assuming a slowish fall or moderate current, the poor fool should pass through at least half the tube in the round when they begin taking damage, suffering 9d8 slashing damage and hopefully substantial bleed damage in a matter of seconds. The resulting sensation is, test subjects tell us, rather like sudenly finding oneself attacked by unseen piranhas.

Moreover, our hapless intruder should find they are now separated from the party healer by a considerable distance filled with invisible knives, and that the chorus of agonised shrieks they unleashed has somewhat deterred the healer from following. Should the healer nobly rush after, of course, we can admire their selfless devotion to duty, their disregard for personal danger, and the undoubtedly excellent Reflex saves for which divine casters are so widely renowned.

Of course, a mere 40 (average) slashing damage isn't enough to fell most mid-level adventurers - a full 80 may not do the trick - and it's always possible they will find a way to heal during their frantically-propelled journey of evisceration. This demonstrates the importance of a good follow-up; a simple trap is not enough. When our ragged, blood-soaked adversaries tumble from the mouth of the bladegullet and sprawl out into apparent safety, they must be allowed no repose.

Well, speaking of unseen piranhas, what lair is complete without a water-feature for visitors to admire, employees to contemplate, and passing adventurers to find themselves falling into out of chutes? With their keen sense of smell, our fishy friends will waste no time in hurrying to greet the new, delicious arrivals.

Now, it would not be sporting* to simply dump invaders into a deep pool of deadly carnivorous fish and watch them die. Quite unreasonable! One must give them a chance; and what better chance than a large, steel hatch set into the side of the pool and marked with the words "Emergency Exit"? Our hypothetical heroes need only keep their wits about them, spot the exit, evade the fish long enough to reach the door, and drag themselves into the all-steel chamber beyond.

*Efficient? Yes. Thigh-slappingly hilarious? Also yes. Aesthetically delightful? Certainly. But sporting? Not unless you have subscribed as a member of the Piranha Feast-Racing League, and an authorised referee is present to provide a detailed match report of your piscine proteges' prowess to the League for inclusion in the season's rankings. Further details below for interested readers. The PFRL is a member of the League In Favour of Cruel Sports.

As a reward for their impressive display of skill, they will find there a rack marked "Emergency: In case of injury" and filled with a number of bottles of coloured liquid. The labels are written rather small, and so any heroes wishing to peruse them will need to pick one up and peer in order to make out the words "Didn't your mother teach you not to take explosive runes from strangers?".

While there is admittedly a small setup cost in the construction of the steel detonation chamber, we feel this is an affordable addition to any up-and-coming lair. Factor in the stress-reduction benefits for your henchmen of a soothing fishtank to watch, and it will pay for itself many times over in the coming centuries.